Alacrity's Wand of Wonder
A wand that does random effects? Scary!
A wand that produces random magical effects – sounds crazy doesn’t it? In truth, no mage with a firm grip on sanity would go about making a “Wand of Wonder” yet they do seem to exist and have been documented on many occasions. There is the story of the mage who saved a town with one, a jester who used it to woo a queen, and the mad Sylvari who destroyed an army, completely by accident.
Most experts agree that this particular item is created by accident, not by design. The usual scenario is when a mage is sold inferior components for the wand from less than auspicious vendors. Brass bands that have been plated gold, pine passed off as oak, virgin Succubus blood that is … not exactly as described . These are all examples of poor ingredients that can turn months of work and craftsmanship into a butterfly spewing, monster growing piece of dweomer.
Any wand, rod or staff has the potential to be “wonderized”. Some theorize that there is a delicate balance between impure and pure components that creates these monstrosities’, but it appears they can happen as randomly as their effect.
Optional Rule: The flawed nature of these wands causes them to “leak” slightly and cause what are referred to as signatures. Signatures are markings on the floor, wall of caster that are left every time the wand is used. Some examples of signatures are: a starburst burn in the floor around the caster, a green mold on the wall beside, a rose shaped image resembling a tattoo, etc. Signatures are never permanent but it is up to the DM how long they last.
Unless otherwise stated, range for a WoW is 12”, with a casting time of 2 segments. Part of the casting time is a delay from command word to the actual reaction of the wand. Anyone can use a WoW, whether they are a spell caster or not – something about the random nature of the weapon makes it usable by any class or race. When a WoW is used, the DM must roll a d20 to determine the effect.
1 Wand sprays multi-coloured sparks out the end. Very pretty but no damage to enemy.
2 Target is teleported to the nearest bar or tavern in a one mile radius (Save vs. spells to negate) if no such establishment exists in range, target is teleported a half mile in random direction. DM rolls a d6, and on a 1 or 2, the wielder is the one teleported.
3 Summon rhino (1-25), elephant (26-50), or mouse (51-00)
4 A gas cloud issues froth from the wand filling a 20x20x20 area around the wand. All who breathe the gas, excluding wielder must save vs. poison or enter a hallucination filled euphoric state for 1-4 turns.
5 Lightning bolt (8d6 damage) as per wand
6 All footwear in a 40 foot radius vanishes without a trace. Magic footwear gets a save vs spells.
7 All beings in a 100 foot radius mystically change genders for 1-4 rounds. If said beings are genderless, they are not affected.
8 Wand fires 120 magic missiles that do 1 point of damage each, rapidly firing all in one round. Each missile moves the wielder back one inch, so after the round, he will find himself 10 feet back from his starting position.
9 Fireball with a range of 24” (8d6 damage)
10 24 gallons of soft serve ice cream will ooze out of the end of the wand for three rounds. Wand cannot be used for anything other than cones during this time.
11 All leather in a 10 foot radius becomes old and frail – snapping if any weight or stress is placed upon it. This includes the straps on shields and within metal armour (save vs. spells or it all comes off)
12 Wielder becomes deluded for 1 to 4 turns, thinking that he is a bee and must fly off to gather nectar.
13 All the gold in a 200 foot radius is teleported ten feet above target. Save vs. spells to avoid being under gold when it lands (DM must determine damage by how much gold is available) . DM rolls a d6, and on a 1 or 2, the wielder is the one who ends up under the gold
14 Darkness in a 30-foot diameter hemisphere at 30 feet center distance from wand
15 Invisibility covers wand wielder. . DM rolls a d6, and on a 1 or 2, the enemy is cast upon.
16 Wand casts Otto Irresistible Dance on target, forcing them to dance for 1-4 turns. (Gods help you if you were pointing it at a giant). DM rolls a d6, and on a 1 or 2, the wielder is the one who becomes enchanted.
17 Stream of 600 large butterflies pour forth and flutter around for two rounds, blinding everyone (including wielder)
18 All potions in a 30 foot radius of wand turn into a high quality single malt scotch.
19 Slow on target for one round, Haste on wielder for two.
20 Summons a 20 foot tall chicken who will do the bidding of the summoner (AC 7 HD 8 HP 64 At: 1 Dm 1-8). The chicken is permanent and will follow the caster around until slain or cooked.
Thanks to Roger (Alacrity) Briant for this contribution!