(with apologies to Lou Bega)
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Dungeon #5
One, Two, Three Four Five
Everyone on their horses, come on let's ride,
To the Evil Lord round the corner,
The boys say they want to kill some monsters,
But I really don't wanna.
Be dead like I was last week,
Must stay breathing,
Raise Dead ain't cheap,
I like Yugaloths, Owlbear, Spectres and Screamers,
And as I continue, you know they're getting meaner.
So what can I do, I really plead to you DM,
To you killing is part of the game.
Chaotic Good, it all just the same,
Next you send in the Dragon.
A little group of the Kobolds on my right,
A little group of Hook Horrors in my sight,
A little group of Goblins are creeping in,
A little group of Ghouls come from the din,
A little group of Bodaks can be fun,
A little group of Golems makes me run,
A little group of Undead, oh here I am,
A little bag of gold makes me your man.
Jump up and swing, move your sword around,
Kill the Gargoyles in a round,
And the Zombies from the ground.
There a trap, Save!
And One Death Knight,
If you make it past the guards,
Then you are rolling it right.
Wagging the Dragon!
Play the game with a DM like you,
Cause I can't run and I can't hide,
My character can kiss his ass g'bye.
Thanks to Roger (Alacrity) Briant for this contribution!