This is an ode to those early days of D&D modules, where hordes of monsters lived next to each other in peace and harmony waiting for that party of adventurers to come by and break up the boredom. I'm thinking those classically bad modules; Keep on the Borderland, Ghost Tower of Inverness, and Village of Homelet.
Anyway it is a fun song I enjoyed writing.
(with apologies to Lou Bega)
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Dungeon #5
One, Two, Three Four Five
Everyone on their horses, come on let's ride,
To the Evil Lord round the corner,
The boys say they want to kill some monsters,
But I really don't wanna.
Be dead like I was last week,
Must stay breathing,
Raise Dead ain't cheap,
I like Yugaloths, Owlbear, Spectres and Screamers,
And as I continue, you know they're getting meaner.
So what can I do, I really plead to you DM,
To you killing is part of the game.
Chaotic Good, it all just the same,
Next you send in the Dragon.
A little group of the Kobolds on my right,
A little group of Hook Horrors in my sight,
A little group of Goblins are creeping in,
A little group of Ghouls come from the din,
A little group of Bodaks can be fun,
A little group of Golems makes me run,
A little group of Undead, oh here I am,
A little bag of gold makes me your man.
Jump up and swing, move your sword around,
Kill the Gargoyles in a round,
And the Zombies from the ground.
There a trap, Save!
And One Death Knight,
If you make it past the guards,
Then you are rolling it right.
Wagging the Dragon!
Play the game with a DM like you,
Cause I can't run and I can't hide,
My character can kiss his ass g'bye.
Thanks to Roger (Alacrity) Briant for this contribution!