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Fifty Ways To Slay a Player

Based on Fifty Ways (To Leave Your Lover) by Paul Simon

The problem is all within the game, he says to me,
A solution to this is think diabolically,
The dice can work wonders in ways that can deceive,
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
He said it's really not the DM they must blame,
Furthermore, those players do things that are dumb, or just insane,
Sometimes you can save them and they do it all again.
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
Fifty ways to slay a player.
 

 

You stab them in the back, Jack
Use a new spell, Dell,
Don't need to be rude, Dude,
It's easy you see,
Fall in a vat, Mat
You don't need to argue that,
Bring a Banshee, Lee
And ignore their pleas.
 

 

I said, they are so messed up, that it's such a fright,
Olan shakes his head sadly when he hears me tell of my plight,
I said, Oh my friend could you tell me again this night, About the fifty ways.
He said why don't we both just think on this today,
I need to post to Meanwhile right now, but I won't go away,
And then he signed on, and I prepared once more the game to play,
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
Fifty ways to slay a player.
 

 

You stab them in the back, Jack
 Use a new spell, Dell,
Don't need to be rude, Dude,
It's easy you see,
Fall in a vat, Mat
You don't need to argue that,
Bring a Banshee, Lee
And ignore their pleas.


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Thanks to Roger (Alacrity) Briant for this contribution!

 


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