The Laughing Reaper
(so/but) when you see a shadow with a scythe
and you see it walking past,
you know the Reaper is watching you,
and he'll be the one to laugh last,
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, He'll be the one to laugh last...
Young Paddy was a shepherd boy who worked on Lord Alvin's Land
He was quite skilled at his work, and always lent a helping hand
He lived with his parents and sister dear, and though Alvin was quite vile
they happily lived their simple life and never denied a smile,
(la la la la la la la, and never denied a smile)
When Paddy went out to herd the sheep one morning the sun shining bright
he saw a shadow behind him brand'shing a scythe like a spectre of the night
but when he turned 'round, he sighed in relief, as his eyes just met a warm smile
'twas just a Reaper on his way to work who'd reap the fields once in a while,
(la la la la la la la, who'd reap the fields once in a while)
Lord Alvin in his mansion was drifting in memory
Old and wicked as he was he was lonely and longed for company
When he had visit'd his land recently, he had seen Paddy's sister Gwendolyne,
and that evening, he had decided: "I'm gonna make her mine!"
(ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I'm gonna make her mine)
Consumed by lust and longing, he did though not quite expect
that the fair maiden courageously him simply would reject
he went mad, but did not burst in rage, he would not publicly show
he'd get her anyway with his sorc'rous arts, which he knew did nobody know
(la la la la la la la, sorc'rous arts, which did nobody know)
Lord Alvin had it all prepared and was about to begin
when at the door, he heard a knock, somebody who want'd be let in;
'twas young Paddy the shepherd boy, who had come to tell him this:
"Lord Alvin, I am dearly sorry, but one of the sheep is amiss"
(la la la la la la la, but one of the sheep is amiss)
Lord Alvin's answer was furious: "Stupid peasant, how do you dare
losing one of my precious sheep you were assigned for to care?
Get off to look for it and don't come back without the sheep in a whole
and if you fail to do so, I swear, I'll have your head on a pole!"
(la la la la la la la, I'll have your head on a pole)
When Paddy had left Lord Alvin sighed and continued his evil plan;
he drew a summoning circle and the incantation began;
To aid his cause, he called himself supernatural support:
A Vampire Count, a Fomor King, and some Demonic Lord
(la la la la la la la, a count, a king, and some demonic lord)
He told them of his plan, they nodded, and the four went on their way
to get Lord Alvin the maiden that had dared to tell him 'Nay';
and in the cottage, the family lacked any kind of defense
they did not even know that Alvin came for Gwendolyn's innocence
(la la la la la la la, he came for Gwendolyn's innocence)
Whilst all this was happening, young Paddy had found the sheep
It had gotten into a cave that was a few feet deep
When he had climbed down to get it up, he found he was not alone
as he saw a shadow with a scythe and felt a chill to the bone
(la la la la la la la, and felt a chill to the bone)
But as he turned around, he sighed, 'cause he saw how foolish he'd been
'twas no one else than the Reaper whom this morning he had seen
"I'm sorry if I scared you" the Reaper spoke, "I wish you no harm,
come and sit with me at my fire I built to keep me warm"
(la la la la la la la, I built to keep me warm)
"I'm honored by your offer, but I'm sorry I have to reject
I have to get the sheep home tonight as my Lord does me expect;
but in return, I offer you, to come along home with me,
at our place, you can have a bed, and have supper with my family"
(la la la la la la la, have supper with my family)
The two of them got the sheep out of the cave and then went on their way
what would expect them at Paddy's home no one of them could say
but as they came over the top of the hill, Paddy would not believe his eyes
at what ghastly horde Lord Alvin brought together under starless skies
(la la la la la la la, brought together under starless skies)
Lord Alvin in all his greedy lust had only eyes for Gwendolyne;
if her parents were in the way, they'd die, so what, that would be fine
He did not even see Paddy and the Reaper approach from the hill
It took until that the Reaper spoke that he suddenly felt a chill
(la la la la la la la, he suddenly felt a chill)
"Lord Alvin, who do you think you are, top molest these people here?
Now leave alone their daughter, she would never hold you dear"
Lord Alvin spat in fury: "Who are you to interfere?
My minions, teach him manners, so he knows whom he has to fear!"
(la la la la la la la, so he knows whom he has to fear)
The Vampire shot forth, and his and the Reaper's gaze did lock,
but against all expectations, the creature screamed in shock;
as the Reaper, smiling gently, just whirled his scythe around,
turning moon into sun, and night into day, and the creature to dust on the ground.
(la la la la la la la, turned the creature to dust on the ground)
The Fomor sneered in anger, not knowing how to treat
the stranger, who, as he found out, even if cut would not bleed;
nor did he even realize when he was no more flesh nor bone,
as the Reaper had made his body fit his heart, and the Fomor turned to stone.
(la la la la la la la, the Fomor turned into stone)
The Demon cackled evilly: "I ain't so easy prey,
for I do not follow your rules of life, it's Hell's rules I obey"
The Reaper smiled and nodded "That is kind of you to tell"
he flicked his scythe, and with a fireflash, he sent him back to Hell.
(la la la la la la la, he sent him back to Hell)
And with one more flick of his wicked blade, he sep'rated Lord Alvin's head
The evil sorc'rer's body - lifeless - slumped to the ground, now dead
whilst the Reaper turned 'round and went on his way, as the sun turned back to moon
"Fare well, you gentle people, and don't make me come back soon..."
(la la la la la la la, don't make me come back soon)
Thanks to Oliver S. Northers for this contribution!