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Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: LOL

Oh, I'm sure there's probably a spare in the truck somewhere, Celeste.

Posted on 2011-02-23 at 19:41:27.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: Well... long as I don't have to break out the frozen bananas...


Posted on 2011-02-23 at 17:11:29.

Topic: Tales of City Fantastico
Subject: Bad Customers! Bad!

It took a little getting used to… all of the living people in the truck and the weird sensation that, even though he was probably still cooped up in his offices at Fantastico HQ, Mr Fantasti V was looking directly into his head… but, as he ferried the group along the beginnings of his new route into Westside, Percy managed not to let it get under his skin too much. There was the road to pay attention to, after all… had to watch for kids and customers and sinners and the like, didn’t he? And you couldn’t just drive over the other cars and people who weren’t customers, could you?

Well, you could, I guess, he grinned to himself as the truck rolled under the “WESTS!D3” arch, but that just seems too easy, doesn’t it? And a little indiscriminate… He slowed the truck when he caught sight of the faded words painted on the arch and, breaking away from his soft humming along with the music, read the words aloud; “Ur in the wrong neighborhood muthaf***as!”

“Huh,” he shrugged, grinning vaguely in Kate’s direction as he eased down on the accelerator, again, “I wonder how they know what neighborhood we’re going to? The guy at Fantastico did say Westside, didn’t he?”

“Wut the f*** you doing in Westside, beotch?”

Percy blinked and found his eyes drawn to a group of large black males huddled about something in the middle of the street. The music blaring from the boom box that one of them carried sent a visible shudder through the ice cream man and he reached over to turn up the volume on Turkey in the Straw in hopes of drowning it out…

“Ya, we ain't seen yer sorry white ass up in here before, homie.”

“Maybe they meant that guy is in the wrong neighborhood,” Percy noted, suddenly realizing what exactly he was looking at… Gang-beating is a sin, isn’t it?… and he eased the truck to a stop as he counted the new customers who had just taken notice of their arrival…

“Looks like someun's brought us some frozen treats, boyz” one said, reaching into a pocket and producing out a switchblade, “Must not be from 'round these parts.”

…Percy’s grin wriggled over his lips, then, and he put the truck in “Park” and unbuckled his seatbelt. He thought he heard one of the new customers say something about hospitality just before a Molotov was lobbed at the truck but, thankfully, missed – if any of his ice cream had melted because the thing landed home, Percy might have gotten a little upset – and erupted into a blaze behind them…

“How is that hospitality,” Percy wondered aloud as he climbed from his seat and turned for the back of the truck… Romeo slid past him, then, and Percy felt the truck rock faintly as the men stepped out into the street… “If gang-beating isn’t a sin,” Percy continued, mostly to himself, “trying to melt ice cream on purpose certainly is…”

"Hey Downhouser, Virago,” Romeo’s voice called from outside, “how about we show these thugs how to do this sort of thing properly?"

Giant Gerald and Vociferous Virago were already moving that way, of course, and it didn’t take Percy long to reach the cooler he was looking for. He whistled happily along with Turkey in the Straw as he pulled a couple of grenade shaped popsicles in homemade wrappers labeled “BOMB Pop” from the cooler and stuffed them in one pocket of his apron… Continued whistling as he produced a scalpel and an ice cream scoop from a drawer and relegated those to the other pocket… and gleefully sang the refrain as he filled a waffle cone with a generous serving of ‘napalm twist’ from the Xtreme Ice Cream Machine… “Hats on! Boots on! Yeeehaw! Sing a little song ‘bout a turkey in the straw!”

“Amateurs,” he heard Katie say just before a blast from her shotgun punctuated the statement…

…He waited for the truck to rock back before he ambled back to the front and reached across to the dashboard to change the song from Turkey in the Straw to The Entertainer


He chuckled as, through the windshield, he watched Virago throw himself at the gang-beating, ice-cream melting crowd of sinners. Then, almost bouncing along with the new tune that had started to play, Percy smiled at Katie… “Mind the window for a minute will you? There’s a price list taped to the counter back there if you need it…” Then, with an ice cream scoop in one hand and a ‘napalm twist’ wafflecone in the other, Percy stepped off the truck and smiled at the sinners.

“Hello, sinners,” he grinned just before lobbing the waffle cone at the guy who’d try to melt his ice cream with a molotov, “who’d like a free sample?”

((OOC: Good enough place to stop for now, I suppose… Percy will stay close to the truck, at first, and will lob the other two “bomb pops” if he can stay at range long enough… If someone gets too close, though, he’ll resort to scoop and scalpel…))

Posted on 2011-02-23 at 17:08:37.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: Well...

...looks like the back of the truck has cleared out a bit...oh and there's soooo much possibility there, isn't there? Well... let's see what kind of fun we can have with Percy, then, shall we?

Off to compose a post... do you guys want sprinkles on that?

Posted on 2011-02-23 at 12:04:35.

Topic: New member intro
Subject: Oooh! Well seasoned newbies! Yummmmm!


Welcome aboard, drednot! I think, perhaps, you're the first Innmate I've heard who's even made mention of the old white box rules... there have been some really old school games, herabouts, of course (gone all the way back to "basic" in fact) but... white box... wow! I can't say that I've heard anyone mention that particular set since I've been gaming online.

Anyhoo... awestruck rambling aside... glad you found your way to our little corner of the world weird web and hope that you find something here that'll keep you coming back. Of course, if you have any questions, need some help navigating the place, or whatever, don't hesitate to throw out a post or shoot a PM; I think you'll find that all of us Innmates (staff and regulars alike) are more than happy to help out.

See you about, swabby! Anchors aweigh!

Posted on 2011-02-23 at 12:01:39.

Topic: Continuing Where We Last Left Off Q&A
Subject: Daggone bushy-tailed tree-rats!

No worries, Roger... we can be patient, I think... Hope those squirrels got at least a tingle out of chewing through that hub.

Posted on 2011-02-22 at 13:29:00.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: It's not braggin' if it's true...

...but I digress...

Who needs a hose when ya got waffle cones? Serve and sling, you know?

Think I'll hold Percy back for a moment and let others (aside from Steel, who's already done so) post first...

Cue The Entertainer!!!

Posted on 2011-02-21 at 20:58:14.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: Oooh...'s a question... How long would it take to attach a hose to the "soft serve machine with the red handle" and squirt it at the dillhole with the lit molotov? I'd like to see what happens when a napalm shake gets mixed with a gasoline beer! Teeheeteehee....

I mean... um... working on a post, now....

Posted on 2011-02-21 at 18:29:48.

Topic: Tales of City Fantastico
Subject: Ummmm....

The truck got more and more crowded as, following Katie’s lead, the rest of the folks from the meeting climbed into the thing and started picking through the ice cream. Percy wondered, at one point, if they’d all fit and, perhaps more importantly, if he would have room to work with all of those living people packed into the back…

“You don't mind do you, God,” Prince Charming asked, flicking Katie glance before squeezing between she and Percy to find a spot amongst the others, “If so I'm sure I can pay our way...”

There was a faint shake of Percy’s head as he blinked his too large eyes, set his hat just a bit farther back on his head, and offered a toothy grin. “Everyone pays their own way… one way or another,” he murmured almost absently, still wondering how in the devil he might be able to sell any ice cream with all of those bodies in the way, “it’s the wages of sin, you know… the bigger the sin the higher the cost of the popsicle…”

“…And we aren't really going to be calling you God all the time are we?”

“Probably not,” the ice cream man shrugged, his rubbery grinned face turning, now, to fix an unblinking set of eyes firmly on Prince Charming… “It all depends, though, doesn’t it,” he giggled after a moment. “Only some people call me that, anyway… Other people call me ICE CREAM MAN!!!…”

As he turned and his eyes let go of the suave fellow, the ice cream man happened to catch a glimpse of the patch sewn over the left pocket of his shirt… “ʎɔɹǝd” it said… and the sight of it sparked a fit of rapid blinking…


That’s a name, isn’t it?

... I think so… Let’s play some music…

Is it my name?

…mmmmmm… I’m not sure…

Or was it somebody else’s name and now I’m just wearing his skin?

…That sounds reasonable… and if that’s the case, you might as well keep the name…. How about “Turkey in the Straw?” I love that one….

“Percy,” he said, nodding in affirmation as he tapped a finger to the name patch and then reached across the dashboard to cue up Turkey in the Straw, “You guys can call me Percy if you want to.”

“…I'm Danyael by the way, but those that know me call me Romeo. I'm not sure why.”

Percy had begun to whistle along to the new tune but, at that last from ‘Romeo,’ he stopped and seemed to consider deeply for a while… Romeo? Like “Romeo and Juliet” Romeo? I read that once… or maybe I saw it in a movie… or was it muppet theater? Anyway… “I don’t know, Danyael,” he blinked after a moment and glanced back at the man, “Maybe it’s because a woman will be the death of you?”

“Umm, Mr. Softee...”

It was the silly, lamp-post, movie guy. Percy wasn’t exactly sure who Mr Softee was but, for some reason he figured Virago must have been talking to him… I’m going to have trouble remembering all of my names, I think… no wonder people forget…

“…do you have any ice cream without body parts in it? I'm a vegetarian.”

Percy’s head tilted curiously to one side as he regarded the silly man for a minute… then, blinking, his eyes flitted from freezer to freezer and dispenser to dispenser before completing the circuit and fixing on Virago’s face once more. His smile had gone flat during the pondering of the question but, now, as Percy met Virago’s gaze again, the corners of his mouth stretched almost impossibly high and he began tittering with laughter… “The body parts don’t go in the ice cream, ding-a-ling,” he laughed, turning around in his seat and turning up the volume on the music before taking hold of the steering wheel, “The ice cream goes in the body parts… or maybe the ice cream is how I get the body parts… Never been on an ice cream truck before, have you?”

“Well, I think we're all here,” Romeo said over the pluck and twang of Turkey in the Straw, “Take us out of here if you would ice cream man.”

“Okie dokie,” Percy complied, shifting the truck into drive, “Hats on, boots on, Yeeehaw! Sing a li’l song about a turkey in the Westside….”

((OOC: just more fun fluff… at least we’re moving towards trouble, now… Off to Westside at a jingly, tire scalding 5 MPH... ))

Posted on 2011-02-21 at 15:34:56.
Edited on 2011-02-21 at 15:49:52 by Eol Fefalas

Topic: I broke a personal record!
Subject: Hey, I like breaking things!!!

But, since this is Skari's personal record and all, I'll just sit back, watch him break it, and stick my fingers in this cake!

Burpy Hathday, Skari!

Many happy returns and all that, yes?

Posted on 2011-02-21 at 12:27:22.

Topic: Titles and Pics
Subject: Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!

Nice choice, Big Red! Iiiiiiiiiii LIKE it!

Posted on 2011-02-21 at 12:25:11.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: Scary? Me?

I'm not scary... I'm chocolaty and crunchy and oh so good for impressionable young minds... which are also rather yummy... which is another topic entirely that will have to be broached in due fashion... but back to ice cream... what were you saying?


Also... thanks to Addy, you all now get to listen to Turkey in the Straw on the ride to Westside.

But don't worry... it'll be fun... Trust the Eol... The Eol is good... The Eol is wise...

Posted on 2011-02-20 at 21:25:38.
Edited on 2011-02-20 at 21:41:00 by Eol Fefalas

Topic: Looking for thoughts...
Subject: Lovely dress... I said earlier, Flirty. And, after hearing the story, I can understand why no smile in the pic.

Hooked your post up with a link, too.

*hugs* You're gonna be a BEEEE-U-tiful bride.

Posted on 2011-02-20 at 14:51:13.

Topic: Voyages of the Rocinante - Firefly RPG QnA
Subject: Not sure...

...but Sam might be able to throw some "covert" skill into that wave and maybe "secure it" just in case anyone's tryin' to listen' in or otherwise monitorin' comms?

Posted on 2011-02-20 at 00:10:25.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: It would... does... we'll live... *shifty glance left, shifty glance right*... some of us, anyway.... or one of us... who wants ice cream?

Posted on 2011-02-20 at 00:06:55.

Topic: Titles and Pics
Subject: All HAIL the Mighty Alacrity!!!

May pigeons fly upside down the next time he washes his car!

Posted on 2011-02-20 at 00:04:18.

Topic: Footprints Recruitment
Subject: Indeed...

...and things are starting to pick up, game-wise, around here again so it probably won't be too much longer until you've got more interested folks than you can shake a Grugg at.

Posted on 2011-02-19 at 14:29:39.

Topic: New Member Looking For A D&D Campaign
Subject: Yup, yup...

Lots of new games starting up hereabouts, folks... Spring is springing and all that.

Took care of your link, Loki.

Posted on 2011-02-19 at 14:10:49.

Topic: Last one to post wins - Part II
Subject: LOL

Ooooh... me too!

Um... as long as she doesn't say anything that's going to pop my head, that is...

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 19:08:30.

Topic: Voyages of the Rocinante - Firefly RPG QnA
Subject: I may have...

... done a bit of the "Ass-U-Me" business, myself, I think, where the "rushing back to Bridget" business is concerned.

What with my recent flakiness I was trying to get the post cranked out without having to go back and forth too much and might have misinterpreted a thing or two along the lines. If i need to edit anything, just say the word.

And, Vanadia, dear, you never have to apologize for that kind of thing... Takes a lot more than that to get me offended, don'cha know... I was actually wondering if Sam might not still be a bit under the influence of the sultry schoolmarm but, I figured that, having overheard the wave between her and Willow that any "fuzzy illusions" he might've had at least started to get dispelled...

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 18:50:23.

Topic: Corrupt a wish
Subject: Voila!

You can teleport accurately at Will... unfortunately, you didn't specify exactly which Will you preferred, so you're stuck accurately teleporting at random Wills with no control over which Will will be next... There's Will Rogers... *BAMF* ... There's Wil Wheaton... *bamf*... oooh... Whippoorwill! *bamf*

I wish not to make a wish.

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 17:23:48.

Topic: Last one to post wins - Part II
Subject: Heh...

God wasn't there because he was out selling ice cream...

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 17:19:03.

Topic: Dynasty of Evil
Subject: Oh now...

...don't be that way... we're just dumbstruck by the awesomeness, is all.

I'm still reading along and enjoying the tale... Gives me the oogie-oogie-wah-wahs... I liiiike it!

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 15:45:04.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame
Subject: Okay... fun as that was... I'm pretty sure that I just creeped myself out!

Nothing but fluff, really... fun fluff... but pretty much just fluff...

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 15:33:51.
Edited on 2011-02-18 at 15:34:35 by Eol Fefalas

Topic: Tales of City Fantastico
Subject: Wait... customers don't usually... oh... never mind...

Pop Goes the Weasel had made it through its first loop and, as it recycled to the beginning of its second, Percy’s grin had stretched halfway across his face… There’s the cherry on top, he thought, losing himself in the tune for a moment and remembering the reason the song had to be played, A shame I didn’t get to finish that one… He’d have made a nice hat… or a smoothie…I wonder if he’s still there? I could go back and…

~…monkey though it was all in fun,
POP goes the weasel!~

“Beats walking. I call shotgun!”

~All around the cobbler’s bench…~

No, Percy imagined, his smile starting to melt like a Nutty Buddy on a summer sidewalk, He’s probably not there anymore… probably bagged him up and took him away and I’ll never get to finish…

~…the monkey chased the weasel…~

Besides, aren’t you supposed to start a new route in Westside?

~…The money thought it was all in fun…~

That’s right! Percy’s eyes flew open as the perfect insanity of his thoughts started to crystallize and congeal into a sweet and creamy sense of direction… “Pop goes the weasel on the Westside,” he chirruped along with the canned music.

His grin had returned and Pop Goes the Weasel had found that empty place in its loop in which the only sound in the truck was the whirring of the refrigeration systems, the chugging of the engine, and the humming of his mind. He had just begun to turn around to check the back of the truck when the song spun up into its third loop… but it had started wrong… there was never a sound like the passenger door opening at the beginning of that song before… and it never smelled like apples, either…

“Nice truck you got here…”

Percy’s head swiveled towards the passenger door and his lips did a crazy dance over his teeth before simmering into a somewhat uncomfortable and yet eerily polite smile It was the pretty red-headed woman with the big… guns.. No customers on the truck, he thought instinctively as, while he blinked at her, the woman produced a five dollar bill from her wallet and handed it to him, that’s a rule, isn’t it? No customers on the truck? There are already some customers on the truck, though, aren’t there? Pieces of them, anyway…

“Thanks,” Percy grinned, tentatively taking the money from the woman who was standing so close… too close without the window between them, maybe… his hand might have trembled a little when it withdrew from hers and slipped the money into an apron pocket…

“I’m Katie,” the woman said as she slipped past him and made her way to the coolers, “You don’t have to get out of your seat, I’ll help myself to one. Let me know if that, uh, doesn’t cover it.”

He blinked after her, nodding slowly a couple of times before he was able to find his voice; “Oh…okay… um… Hi, Katie… you might want to… to stay away from the machine with the red handle… oh… and the green popsicles… definitely don’t want to eat those… and the…uh… the bomb pops… don’t jostle the bomb pops…hehe…hehehe…”

He watched as she selected a Dreamsicle and politely closed the freezer afterward… the fingers of one hand fidgeted in his apron pocket for her change as she made her way back to the passenger’s seat… Her name is Katie, she said… Gonna tell her yours?…The nervously polite smile stayed frozen on his lips but his eyebrows jumped and crawled in what might have been confusion for a moment… he did have a name, didn’t he?... He’d had one once, he knew, a name… couldn’t remember it, though… Well, a name is just something people call you, isn’t it? What do people call you?

Percy’s eyes slipped away from the pretty woman in the passenger’s seat and fell to the clump of blood and gore crusted bills and coin in his hand and his smiling expression crawled its way into one more indicative of deep thought as he considered that question… “ICE CREAM MAN!!!” he mused, All the kids call me ”ICE CREAM MAN!!!”… but that’s probably too loud, huh?... Dreamsicle is a dollar fifty… she gave me a five… One, two… He peeled three dark-stained singles from the wad of money and then poked a couple of quarters out of hiding… Three-fifty in change… So, if “ICE CREAM MAN!!” is too loud, just tell her what everybody else calls you…

“Let’s get a move on,” she called out the window, to those other ones that had gone to the meeting with them he guessed “we don’t have all day to wait for your tònha.”

“I’m God,” Percy smiled happily as he thrust his hand out and offered Katie the change he’d just counted out, “It’s actually short for ‘Oh God Please No’ but sometimes that just takes too long to say, you know? And some people don’t really have that long, anyway, so it’s okay if you shorten it like that…”

He shrugged, blinked at her once or twice, and then looked away, reaching for his seat-belt as he made ready to start his new route. “I’m not really supposed to have customers on the truck,” he said almost absently as he buckled up and turned his eyes to the road beyond the windshield, “but, I guess, we’re all supposed to go to Westside… and you paid for your ice cream… I don’t mind giving you a ride… just, you know, don’t tell anyone…”

Even though he said he didn’t mind giving them a ride, Percy visibly cringed when the big man climbed aboard and the truck’s suspension creaked under his weight. The accommodating smile returned as quickly as it had wavered, though, and he nodded faintly as the giant Gerald squeezed past him and, like Katie, opened a cooler to find himself an ice cream…

“Wow… those look real!”

Percy looked back, took note of the particular freezer the massive man had opened, and looked curiously at the guy… “Well sure they’re real,” he chuckled after a second, taking his eyes off the guy and turning them back to the view beyond the windshield, “who’d keep fake body parts in a freezer? That’s just crazy…”

He smiled at Katie, then; “How’s that ice cream?”

Posted on 2011-02-18 at 15:32:43.

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