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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> Recent posts by Alacrity
Topic: Loaded Dice #34: Extra #1: "Funny" D&D Jokes, Courtesy of Rich
Subject: My facebook update is wrong!


Cute filler.

Sign outside of Mage's Guild - No Parking. Violators will be Toad.

Posted on 2009-11-23 at 15:41:39.
Edited on 2009-11-23 at 15:43:50 by Alacrity

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: Lay off that Screech Grugg


See! Next morning and we are 4 points up. That's like 4 thumbs up on a one-night stand.



Posted on 2009-11-20 at 13:51:15.

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: No Jamie Hyneman


My moustache only goes up when I smile - and I never smile.

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 21:06:21.

Topic: Freedom's Price Q&A
Subject: Too bad


I guess I will have to declare this game dead. Can't seem to get a game off the ground lately.

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 20:55:18.

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: How many movies


There can be only one.



Posted on 2009-11-19 at 20:52:38.

Topic: Online Character Sheets?
Subject: humbug


In my days, we wrote up our characters on paper, with pen and pencil! And we liked it like that cause you could take it to your games in your school binder. What the heck do you need a character online for?

Young whippersnappers.....

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 20:51:00.

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: White Gold?


Olan - You are the Inn.

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 20:48:11.

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: 6/4


Come on people vote Up for Olan.

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 20:38:51.

Topic: Loaded Dice #33: He Just Never Quits
Subject: deep breath


Remember you have a while bunch of late voters and always 5 negative nellies. Patience young Padewan

Posted on 2009-11-19 at 19:30:39.

Topic: Loaded Dice Gets its First Official Review!
Subject: Woohoo


I will have to link this on the facebook fan page

Posted on 2009-11-18 at 16:22:28.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed
Subject: On board finally


Stardate: 2368.04.10, USS Valmont
Cmdr. Avanti Quarters - 1500


Avanti stared out the window towards Starbase 128 and the Discovery. The last eight hours had been like a blur to him, getting things organized and saying goodbye to people he had worked beside for the last two years. Saying goodbye to Sango had been easier than he had expected, but their relationship had been on the wane for awhile and as a Deltan, Sango wasn’t commitment oriented.

“Is that a Federation Star?” He turned to see the Yeoman assigned to help him pack staring at awe at the medals on his mantle. She seemed impressed by them.

“Yes, it is.” Avanti said, “Just pack it in with the others.”

“I’ve never seen one before. What did you do to get that?”

“Survived.” Avanti replied curtly, “127 crewmembers did not.”

“Oh.” She took a step back sensing she’d offended her commander, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean …”

“No, I’m sorry Yeoman Ayn. I don’t ask for commendations. They remind me of how many died or gave their lives in the line of duty.”

“Oh. I can understand that Commander.” She replied and started to pack the medals away as asked, “Can I ask a question Sir?”

“Of course.”

“How many lived? I mean, how many survived that might not of because of your actions?”

Avanti stared at her for a moment, “1000 or more, I would guess.”

“Maybe that’s why you have the medal.” She said quietly. “Will there be anything else sir?”

The Commander looked around his quarters, all his possessions were now packed up in several cases. He wasn’t much for collecting items and uniforms were easily replicated. “No Yeoman. Thank you.” He replied and picked up the bag and placed it around his shoulder, then grabbing the case. “Harmony and Peace be with you.”

Stardate: 2368.04.10, USS Valmont
Shuttle Craft hanger Bay - 1700


Avanti approached the shuttle craft he was assigned and entered the hatchway with a minimal of ducking and crouching. It always amused him that he was too big for so much in Starfleet but back home he was considered abnormally small.

“Commander! Go to have you aboard,” Came the familiar voice from the pilot seat. Ensign Alacrity Fitzhugh was there, legs up on the console. One of the few humans that Avanti could look in the eyes, Fitzhugh was tall and slender with short cut blond hair and a smile that seemed to say “all is right if Alacrity was in the universe”. Everyone called him Speed, a nickname he lived up to in many ways.

“Speed? What did you do to pull shuttle duty?”

“Hey, I wanted to see you off properly.”

Avanti didn’t believe him, but he let it slide, “I could have teleported across.”

“No! no, no, no!” Speed said as he sat up and began to start the preflight with one hand, “A first officer should arrive with pomp and flash – Trust me.”

“Why do I get nervous whenever you say trust me?”

“Space induced paranoia, happens to the best of them. Oh Commander – hold on to something.” Speed said casually as the shuttle leapt from its docking station and into space at full thrusters. “Weeeeeeeoooooh!” Speed yelped out as he whipped the shuttle into a wide curve around the starbase.

“Speed!” Avanti said as he clung to the sides of the shuttle interior, “Slow down!”

“Hey! Can I buzz the bridge? They’re in dry dock right? I can buzz the bridge.”

“No Speed. Don’t!”

“It’s okay. It will be fun and there’s no regs on dry dock.”

“Ensign! Enough! There are at least four regulations and I don’t want my first official duty on the Discovery to court martial you!”

The communication screen lit up and a visual image came onscreen, “Shuttle Craft Newton 4. You are exceeding safe speeds for a dry dock zone. Please reduce velocity.”

Ensign looked at the visual of the flight controller officer, a young lady with long red hair and a stern but pretty face, “Whoa. For you darling, I’d do anything.”

She looked unmoved but noted the decrease in speed, “Thank you. Dry dock velocity should not exceed half thrusters,”

“You know, I agree. Been in deep space for awhile now and I have to tell you, you are the most beautiful woman I have seen in years. Maybe we could get together, you know, debrief me on this infraction of mine.”

Avanti rolled his eyes. There was a word for Speed the humans used – incorrigible.

Stardate: 2368.04.10, USS Discovery
Shuttle Craft Hanger Bay - 1710


Avanti stepped out of the shuttlecraft and looked over at his companion, “Speed, try not to get into trouble.”

“Me? Trouble?” the Ensign smiled, “What trouble could I get into – I’m just a pilot sir. Wow! A galaxy class sir I’d love to get my hands on the flight controls of this baby.”

“It is not going to happen, Speed. It’s in your record – do not let near ambassador class or bigger.”

The ensign laughed, “Yeah right.” he said as he passed Avanti his bags, “You are not serious are you? You didn’t put that into my record?”

“Harmony and Peace Speed.”

“Take care you big ox.”

Avanti turned around and looked over the hanger bay. A security officer was waiting for him but he didn’t move closer. Avanti grabbed his bags and moved closer; thinking the young man looked familiar.

"NO! No Gokk-bonking way!”

“Steward Tier! It is good to see you!”

“This is not Gokk bonking fair! I got away from you.”

Avanti sighed, “I see we are going to start where we left off.”

“In the name of Gokk bonking hell, why me? Why here? Why now?”

“Lieutenant! You want to rant at me over the loss of your brother or your perceived persecution; I will be more than willing to be there for you. We’ll make an appointment with the counselor. But not now. You have a duty to perform right now and you will do that duty. Do I make myself clear?” Avanti spoke clearly without raising his voice, but the sternness in his face was unmistakable.

Tier stood up at attention, “Yes Sir.” and moved to take the commander’s bag.

“I can carry my own bags Tier.”

“Yes Sir. I will escort you to the captain sir.”

Avanti followed behind as Steward took him through the ship
towards the bridge. Avanti spotted some familiar faces as he passed and was pleased to see that some people looked happy to see him. He soaked in the sights and smells of the ship, but mostly the sounds within the ship. For him, it was always a world of harmonics and balance.

“There’s something wrong with the warp core.” He said aloud.

Tier stopped, “What do you gokk bonking mean….Oh yeah. I forgot you do that. You want to go to engineering?”

“No.” Avanti lied quickly, “You are going through a retrofit and I am sure that Commander Kennedy has things well in hand. I read her paper on warp drive efficiency, it was quite interesting.”

The two continued on there way until they reached the turbolift. From there they continued in silence until the doors opened and revealed the bridge. It was bigger than the Valmont’s, quite a bit bigger. Tier continued to lead the Commander to the door of the Captain’s Ready Room.

I’m home. Avanti thought to himself.


Posted on 2009-11-18 at 04:18:18.

Topic: Loaded Dice #32: O Steve, Live Forever
Subject: 10


10 up and 5 down by next day

Posted on 2009-11-17 at 18:14:59.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed Q&A
Subject: My fault


Been swamped at work. Will endeavour to get Avanti's large a$$ on board soon.

Posted on 2009-11-17 at 16:08:23.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed Q&A
Subject: Uniform


Somewhere down the road they gave Troi some character development and she started wearing the uniform which improved the look.

But I would have voted for the mini skirt and "thigh highs". I'd vote twice even.

Posted on 2009-11-17 at 13:18:54.
Edited on 2009-11-17 at 13:19:37 by Alacrity

Topic: Cool curses...
Subject: A few


I once cursed a thief with "May you never know peace". After that, every trap he checked, he set off. Every monster attacked him first. When he slept at night, wandering monsters attacked hourly. When he was on watch, he heard so many noises and saw shadows that he was constantly on edge. Every town had an outstanding warrant for his arrest and a bounty hunters convention going on. He paid for the cleric to remove curse after a day of that.

Later, I cursed the same thief with Sadim touch. Anything gold that he touched, turned to lead. He didn't know about the curse until he trying to pay a bartender for a round.

Then there is my favourite. A stone, with a sword in it, with a sign on the stone reading "Don't touch this sword, it is cursed". Anyone touches the sword, turns into a stone with a sword in it, with a sign on the stone reading "Don't Touch this sword it is cursed". I have wiped out entire parties with that one. They gotta touch the sword ....




Posted on 2009-11-16 at 18:50:26.

Topic: Loaded Dice #32: O Steve, Live Forever
Subject: squishy


squishy

Posted on 2009-11-16 at 15:42:26.

Topic: Loaded Dice #31: Funny is in the Eye of the Beholder
Subject: I made it up!


If it goes public, I get a nickel for every time it is used

Posted on 2009-11-13 at 14:46:34.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed Q&A
Subject: school's out


We (Vanadia, MMV and I) have finally gone to our last high school open house and MMV has made a choice of schools. So my time will free up for posting.

Posted on 2009-11-13 at 03:20:12.

Topic: Loaded Dice #31: Funny is in the Eye of the Beholder
Subject: These are the jokes people


I think that people see webcomic and associate it with the standard 3/4 frame comic that used to be in the papers. Looking at some popular ones like LICD, PvP and Penny arcade, they follow that format. Intro, build, set, joke. Heck, Penny Arcade hasn't been funny for years and they still keep coming.

Olan is trying a different approach with more of a "serial" adventure. It will take longer for a following, but the fans will be more loyal. So, yes he is Glogging his D&D adventure, but why the heck not. If someone can blogg about making every recipe in a Julia Child cookbook - the sky is the limit.

Posted on 2009-11-13 at 03:15:49.
Edited on 2009-11-13 at 03:17:31 by Alacrity

Topic: Loaded Dice #31: Funny is in the Eye of the Beholder
Subject: good


There is a casualness to the scene which I like. *Arrrgh* stab "as I was saying..."

Posted on 2009-11-12 at 16:37:57.

Topic: Loaded Dice #30: Ask a Stupid Question...
Subject: bah


It is not copying - it is an homage!

Posted on 2009-11-09 at 15:34:14.

Topic: Loaded Dice #30: Ask a Stupid Question...
Subject: oooh


Nice blue dead guy.

So I am betting the scroll says "I memorized Explosive Rune today" - Boom!

Posted on 2009-11-09 at 14:42:02.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed Q&A
Subject: Hurm


Your dad needs new material

Posted on 2009-11-07 at 02:28:24.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed
Subject: A bit into the future


*This post is a bit in the future of current events.*


Stardate: 2368.04.10
USS Discovery, Bridge – 1500


Ensign Burrows looked at the ships sensors readings as he calibrated. Unexpectedly, they registered something odd. “Sir. I detect a ship coming out of warp. Bearing 3479 mark.”

Lt. Tzi looked up, “On screen. Check with Starbase and see if they expected a visitor.”

Burrows did as he was ordered, putting the view on the location of the disturbance and sending a message at the same time. “Starbase reports the Valmont is due in eight hours.”

As if the mention of the name was enough to conjure the vessel, the Vlamont appeared on screen as it came out of warp speed. A Norway class ship, the Valmont was a diplomatic ambassador vessel that was the centre of the Federations efforts to broker peace to the civil war of the Torkin Manes system. The ship was damaged - phaser and disruptor burns scorched the hull as a testimonial of how the peace process had a few challenges. Some large holes remained unpatched and held by force field.

“They are early then, “ Lt. Tzi commented outloud.

“Sir. They are hailing us. Captain Horatio wants to speak to our captain.”

“Very well. Patch the message through to the Captain in his ready room.”

Stardate: 2368.04.10
USS Discovery, captain’s ready room – 15:05


=^=Captain Blair. The USS Valmont has entered this sector of space and Captain Horatio wished to speak to you=^= Came the voice of Ensign burrows over the comm..

“Very Well. Patch him through to my console.”

The screen flickered and the image of an old friend appeared. Horatio was stilling in the dark, of course, but there was no mistaking his old academy roomie.

=^=Captain. Good to see you again.=^= Horatio said.
"Captain Horatio!" Blair answered in a warm tone. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

=^=Crew transfer. I understand you need a first officer. I got one here that has grown a bit too big for this ship. Needs a bigger boat to move around so he doesn’t bang his head. =^=

Captain Blair's eyes narrowed a bit as it began to dawn on him who Horatio was referring to. "Avanti? Are you serious? But... Horatio, may I ask why?"

=^=Noah, you did me a favour give me Avanti, and believe me when I say, the mission would never had succeeded without him abroad. But the Valmont is going into dry dock for awhile and someone will grab him – I’d rather it be you and return the favour.=^=

"I honestly don't know what to tell you," Blair responded. "There's not an officer in the entire fleet that I'd rather have as my XO." Noah shook his head slowly. "Thank you, Horatio. When should we expect him?"

=^=He is finishing up some business abroad, saying goodbyes and all. I’ll shuttle him over around 17:00. Enough time for you to make arrangements?=^=

"Of course, old friend. We'll have everything ready for him before then. Thank you again, Captain. If I can ever do anything for you, don't hesitate to ask."

"You already did Noah, you already did."

Posted on 2009-11-06 at 20:27:52.

Topic: Star Trek: No Good Deed Q&A
Subject: Sorry Neo


There is no pre-crazy Mel Gibson.

Posted on 2009-11-06 at 15:39:53.

 


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