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Dungeons and Drag-ons Once More


“Please step away from the vehicle.” Aera gave the wagon a good kick. The day was fine, the sky was clear, and the forest was separated by a winding track. A small merchant stood angrily beside his wagon. “Why?” Aera asked. “Because,” the merchant said, “It’s carrying nitro.” Aera froze in the act of kicking it again. “Nitro?” A sudden thump came from above as Granite the Goat dropped onto the wagon. “Maa?” “I want to run!” Aera told the sky, and proceeded to do so. “Maa maa, maaaaaa. Maaa maaa ma ma ma maaaa!” Granite announced, leaping after the fleeing Aera. In perfect execution of the plan, Mana and Stumpy dropped heavily onto the top of the wagon. The mage thought he heard something clink, but he ignored it. “I’m going to push the wagon onto it’s side!” he shouted to above. “Now that’s more like it!” Stumpy shouted, tugging at one side of it. The merchant looked up in terror. “No! Don’t!” The heroes stopped. “Why not?” “Err...I’ll give you this dead bunny if you don’t!” “I don’t know...” Mana muttered. “It looks kind of dead...” “Who cares?” Stumpy grumped, swiping the rabbit. “Let’s go find Aera.” Minutes later, the heroes sat comfortably around a small campfire, with the dead bunny tied to a metal spit (which Stumpy was rotating over the fire). “I love roast rabbit,” he drooled as he rotated the spit. “Wait a minute,” Mana interrupted. “Do you have the cooking proficiency?” “Shhhhhhhhh! Sh Sh Sh!” Stumpy sh-ed, making furious gestures with his hand. “Ah,” Mana grinned. “I get it.” “What?” Aera asked. “Get what?” The bunny’s eyes shot open. “Hey, look!” Mana exclaimed. “It’s alive!” “No,” Stumpy insisted, “It’s just the firelight!” “Oh...” The bunny began to twitch. “Maa?” Granite offered. “Just the smoke,” Stumpy assured them. “Just the smoke...” “Ah...” Mana said. The bunny began to make funny snickering noises. “That bunny is alive!” Aera decided. “No, it’s not!” the dwarf said, licking his lips. “That’s just the wind. It is! I swear!” Aera rolled her eyes. Suddenly thunder boomed, and the clouds opened up, and light poured down in a thick beam upon the party. A voice echoed from above; “Bun-bun the Rabbit is an imporant NPC! Stop roasting him!” “But he’s so juicy and succulent!” Stumpy whined. “No!” the voice thundered, “You can’t eat him!” Cursing, the dwarf pulled Bun-bun from the spit and held him. “How can a stupid rabbit help us?” *CHOMP* “OOOOOOW!” Aera and Mana fell over, laughing. “How come I always get all the damage from the blasted animals?!!” Stumpy shouted. Bun-bun leaped onto the goat’s back. “Maaa...” Granite mumbled, rolling his goatish eyes, “How come I have to carry Bun-bun? Dwarf-boy likes him so much...” “In character, Granite,” Aera chimed. The goat muttered a goatish curse. “I say we move on,” Mana declared. And so the party moved on. Bun-bun led the way, guiding Granite with his paws. Eventually, they reached a crossroads, and they stopped. But not because of the crossroads. But rather because of a somewhat scantily clad blond-haired girl who stood in the center of the crossroads. “Hello,” she sighed faintly, “I think I’m supposed to follow you guys. This book of mine told me to follow the rabbit.” Mana’s eyes popped. “I like her! She gets to stay!” “Wait a minute!” Aera cried. “Look at her!” “Oh, I am!” Mana grinned. “It’s indecent!!” Aera protested. “Oh, yes. Very much so,” Mana sighed. “Well, whether it’s indecent or not,” the woman growled, “I’m doing what the book tells me. And it told me to follow Bun-bun the rabbit, so that’s what I’ll do!” “What book?” Aera asked suspiciously. “The script,” she replied, holding it up. “Let me see that!” Aera snapped, swiping it. “Hmm...” The characters huddled around the book. “What? My character dies?!!” Aera shrieked. “Stumpy the SQUIRREL?!!!!!” “Mana the PUDDLE-OF-VOMIT???” “BUN-BUN THE GREAT DEFENDER OF PEACE, PERSONAL AID TO THE KING, ARCHBISHOP OF THE HOLY CHURCH, AND COMMANDER OF THE DRAGONS???!!!!!!” Stumpy screamed in outrage. “This script sucks!” Aera declared, ripping it in half. “Boiled alive in a coffee pot indeed! We’re writing our own.” Mana attempted to look sophisticated. “As long as we’re writing the script,” he said with a glance at the scantily clad woman, “I’ll take care of the romance parts.” “Hardly,” Aera said dryly. Pulling out a quill pen and paper, she started writing. “Here’s some romance for you,” she laughed, as she looked at Mana...the pig. “Oink?” Stumpy roared with laughter, and Granite offered a sympathetic “Maa...”. Grabbing the paper and pen, the dwarf began to write. Aera’s nose quite suddenly ceased to exist. “Oh! Oh tank you bery buch,” she said sarcastically. “That’s bery bunny. We’ll just hab to see how you like my power scribbling!!!!” ~-~**()()()()**~-~ Lisa looked down in dismay at the shreds of what once had been the character sheets for Aera, Stumpy, Mana, and Granite. “These’ll need to be redone...” “Yeah,” Rob muttered. “You and your ‘power scribbling’.” “Oh well,” she replied, standing. “I’ve gotta go anyways. Play some more next week?” “Fine.”



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Thanks to Jason J. Romein for this contribution!

 


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