When he passed by his sons room, he peered in to see the boy sleeping, curled up like a dog on his bed. He didn't have the heart to wake him, he'd be awake soon enough.
The night air was still, just as it had been for weeks. A sense of almost tangible uneasiness hovered around HQ. Aside from Seth and Max, Travis felt the other soldiers around HQ were uneasy in his presence.
He didn't blame them. They all had every reason too distrust him, even despise him. As he sat on his bed, the cold metal in his hands, he thought about the look on Seth's face when he'd bared down on top of him, and again when he'd nearly killed Max, and yet again when almost drank Max dry. There was a turbulent mix of emotions. Anger, pity, fear, hate...he felt them all. He knew Max felt the same way about him, after all...he wasn't aware she'd ever been almost killed by a Vampire before.
He looked around his room, it was filled with all of the things that once made him happy. His old radio and "vinyl popper" as he called it. The posters of some of his favorite old movies, like Star Wars and Big Jake. The pictures of his family, turned face down so they couldn't see him, were strewn all about the room. His guns, once his most prized possesions, lay collecting dust in the corner. Except for one, one was missing, but he knew where it was.
His mind flahsed back, for a swift moment, on what it was like before he was like this, and he almost blamed Rose for it. He knew it was his own damned fault. He was a fool to ask her to bite him...what good was living forever when you didn't have to one person you wanted to spend forever with anymore. It was pointless, all pointless.
He didn't want to do this, but it was probabaly for the best. Not for him, but for Max, Seth and eventually Rose. He thought of her again. He had always wanted to truely raise a family. He'd started that dream a long time ago...but it ended horribly, and now it had repeated itself. He began thinking of the names he would have given to his child...had he had one with Rose. Marcus...Lily...Jessica...Rebecca...Adrian...all of them would look just like her...beautiful and gentle.
He would teach his daughter to defend herself, teach her the weak spots of would be attackers...spoil her rotten...do all of the things he had always wanted to do. But if he had a son...he'd do all of the things he never got a chance to do with Derric. Play catch, go see a ballgame...go camping, fishing, shooting. All of things he never did with his son...all of the things his father had never done with him.
He stopped, it was to painful to think about things that would never happen. He looked down in his palms again and twiddled it around, making sure he wanted this. Yes...he was no good to them anymore, and he had lost Rose...she wasn't coming back. His dreams had been crushed yet again, and he'd become in inhuman monster...incapable of love anyway.
He raised the pistol to his head...and said a silent prayer.
Seth opened the door as Travis was praying. He ran forward, as fast as he could, and slapped the gun away from Travis' hand, putting him on the ground with a swift shove, and putting his foot over his wrist.
"What the hell!"
He yelled as loud as he could, bearing down on his wrist. He kicked the gun away with his other foot, and picked it up.
"I'm doing whats best for everyone, and thats getting rid of me!", in a show of immense strenght and speed, Travis flipped Seth over and flung him against the far wall. The impact knocked the breath out of him. Travis retreived the gun, and check the chamber, the round was still loaded. Once more, he threw it against his head.
Seth managed to get that our with what little breath he had. Pulling out his own gun that he retrieved from Max's desk, Seth fired twice, one round blowing the slide off Travis' gun, making it worthless. He didn't think he could actually do that.
Seth stood up shakily.
"What's gotten into you? Don't you care enough about Rose to look for her? Don't you care enough about your son to be here for him now? What do you think will happen to him if you do this? Stop acting like a child!"
Max had escaped as soon as Seth had gone. She went straight to him, her boss: Kane. "Rose's family retrieved her and Travis and his son are both there." She reported. "What about the human?" Max blinked. "When we attack tonight, he's mine. I want to kill him."
He had no answer, but instead tackled Seth to the ground, extending his fangs once more. This time...he was in full control of his own actions...he was tired of Seth meddeling with him...he was doing what had to be done.
"Go ahead Travis. Do it. You know the truth of what I'm saying! But you're so stubborn and self centered you won't listen. So do it! Show me you're man enough to back up what you say! Let Derric see you kill a man and then take your own life. Let Rose come back to a dead us! DO IT!"
Seth painfully sat up. The brace on his knee had been bent, crooking his knee and causing more flesh blood to come to the surface. He left his gun laying on the floor, and he propped himself against a wall.
"Nothing's ever as bad as it seems. I never told you guys this, but there's a reason I didn't spend all 4 years in the service. I'm sure you've gathered this from our research on Cauldwell, but my platoon was attacked by that giant spider I killed saving your ass. I may have told you, I can't remember. Me and a few others survived. How do you think I felt? Captain goes down with his ship, but yet I had to explain to the parents on 18 and 19 year old kids why their child wouldn't be coming back. I watched them cry. They all blamed me. But I didn't give up the fight. And neither will you. Suicide is the easy way out, and I know damn well you aren't a coward."
Travis refused to acknowledge Seth. He was far more of a coward then Seth would ever know, and now he realized it. He just couldn't come up with the words to face it. Instead, he simply sat there, his head fixated to the wall opposite him.
"You can help this fight far more than I can. I'm a human with a gimped leg. Those people out there need you. Remember what it's like to be a soldier! But your life is your own. If you do this, I won't stop you anymore. There's a gun to do it with. But remember. People have most likely died for you. We all have put our lives on the line repeatedly for you. You're about to make me regret doing that."
He looked down to the right, off the edge of the bed, at the gun on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it. All of the horrible memories were represented by this horrible weapon. He looked at his past for a long time, before he grasped the pistol sideways with both hands and crushed it, crushed with his bare hands.
He shook his head a stood up, eyeing the one object on his wall that seemed out of place. A fine steel broadsword, the very one that ran him through years ago, and the very one he retrieved from Dominics corspe. He lifted in from the wall, and he knew. Something in his blood, the Vampire part of him, knew how to use this weapon.