I agree sometimes the greatest thing you can give some one is yourself either in war or peace. "Hath no greater love, than to lay down your life for another.." or something like that is in the bible. But that doesn't mean you have to literally die you can devote your life to their welfare which is basically what marriage is you devote your life to the welfare of your spouse. Then when you have a child you devote your life to preparing them to become an adult through love and discipline. It sounds sappy I know but I truly think that's the way a family should work and when people enter into one just to fulfill their own needs instead of a mindset that they want to reach a level in their relationship that will allow them to become more intimate with someone so that they can fully give themselves to someone. I know it sounds like I'm repeating myself but even if I am it is worth repeating since sometimes people don't seem to get it.
[lecture]My step-dad had to deal with two ex-wives who really didn't get it, one of them was even raised in a strict Christian Baptist home. She ran off to Alaska with a man she had met while he was in the Navy. She left the kids aged 3 and 1 with their Grandma who despite knowing where her granddaughter was would not tell him for over 12 years this whole thing really messed up his plans of making a career out of the navy. Really kinda confused my brothers when she out of the blue showed up and wanted to be apart of their lives. His second wife who he married five years later just didn't want to grow up she partied and drank and eventually had an affair with a guy at her job while he was at work and the kids at one of their relatives they had two kids who are 9 and 8 and are constantly switching homes. Suprisingly (or unsuprisingly) she is dating a man who has the same name as my father and a nice guy like my stepdad, my little step-brother and sister would be fortunate to have a guy like him as a father even if it isn't their real dad.
So you see I know that some(maybe most) people really don't know what a very intimate relationship like marriage requires in terms of sacrifice. This isn't a Holy joining of income or possesions, and it doesn't mean that now you have a free baby sitter while you go off and party or work. (In my father's defense he had his family live on base with him and always tried to see them when he wasn't deployed elsewhere and he was earning a living for them and saving up for college so he could get an increase in his pay grade so they could save up more money for the kids education and expenses.)In Christianity it is a holy union where two becomes one and requires both to work in harmony and for the good of each other. If a body neglects itself after all it becomes sick, right? They say that a person with High-Functioning Autism doesn't have much grasp of social skills or intimate relationships. But I think that there are many neurotypical people out there who are a lot worse off than me who don't get intimate relationships.(Yes I'm autistic but I'm still able to wing it in the world and I get better with each day.[/lecture]
And to the beautiful woman I love with Gypsy Eyes whom I am fortunate enough to know for Christmas I wish I could give you a brand new Stratocaster... but unfourtunately I can only afford tab books for Led Zepplin and the Doors.
Dr Phil says relationships aren't 50 50, They are 100 100. Each person must give 100 percent for things to work and when one person in giving 150 and the other sitting back and doing the bare minimum that isn't marriage, that's a leach. Your spouse should be your best friend, your business partner, your roommate, your lover, your counselor, your devil's advocate, your cheerleader, your co-parent and your best friend again.
Yeah we call those people chior queers.. Sorry, I was in High School Band for four years we all was rip on each other choir, band, and orchestra. we're called band geeks and orchestra has orc dorks and choir has choir queers. But it's all light hearted and keeps Espirit De corps up.