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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> General Forum --> Comings and Goings --> When Bad Things Happen
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    Messages in When Bad Things Happen
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Regular Visitor
Karma: 13/17
76 Posts

When Bad Things Happen

From Utan:

My brother's passing has quite "taken the wind from my sails" in respect to gaming in general and D&D in particular. Our long-time collaboration playing and creating in D&D was a source of joy and entertainment for the both of us. He will be greatly missed.

Nephew Wade (Kilmorriagan) has volunteered to oversee the renovation and sale of my home, and the storage and/or sale of my possessions.

At this time, whether or not I will retun ot RDInn at all is uncertain, ahd even if I do, it will be some time yet. I do and will miss the good people of the Inn in any case. And I thank all of you for the enjoyment you brought to the lives of myself, my brother, and my nephew.

I apologize to all DMs of games that i am in for my sudden and lengthy absence. Uncle Jay's passing also forced mt to make a decision to help my uncle in his time of need, something his own sisnters would not do (sad to say that my own mother is one of those selfsame sisters). I am fortunate in these time to be able to hold down a full-time and a part-time job(s) to make ends meet. But with this added aid to Uncle Mahlon (Utant the Orange), I will no longer be active on RDInn for a while either.

I will pop in from time to time to read and pass on any comments this post generates to my uncle,

Once again, I apologize to all and thank all of you for the enjoyment you have provided to myself and my uncles in the past.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 04:56:18.
Edited on 2009-04-16 at 08:27:14 by Kilmorrigan

Not Dragon Mistress
Karma: 105/32
2282 Posts

Farewell to innmates, one forever, and two for now

Our deepest sympathies go out to you and you uncle for your loss of a family member and an innmate. We pray for those who have departed and those that remain for the best that may be for you all. May all the good memories rise and the bad and sad eventually fade.

Our sincerest condolences.

Jeanne and Joanne

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 05:46:26.
Edited on 2009-04-16 at 05:49:58 by Brianna

Icelanders! Roll Out
Karma: 102/11
1514 Posts


It is always saddening when such events take place. I wish I was better with words, but the truth is that deaths have never been anything I can make others feel better after. Even now my words hardly make any sense.

My deepest sympathies go to you both and your families. A friend of mine lost his good friend and comrade in dice-rolling and stopped roleplaying for few years. He has recently started playing again, saying that although it is hard to play with your good friend it is in his honor that he continues to roll his dice.

I hope that things will improve for you, and that one day you take up your dice in his honor and memory, and continue that game that you all enjoyed together.

Game on, and God bless.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 09:41:58.

Kool Killer Kitty
Karma: 64/6
1685 Posts


I don't have anything profound to say, but I'm sorry for your loss and at losing a resident of the Inn.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 10:17:00.

I'm doing SCIENCE!
RDI Staff
Karma: 163/50
1835 Posts


Forgive me for asking, but I do remember Wyrmsting mentioning that Utan was his brother. Is Wyrmsting your dear Uncle Jay?

I am sorry for your loss, but perhaps a confirmation on his screen name here can help us better write the Eulogy.


Posted on 2009-04-16 at 11:45:48.
Edited on 2009-04-16 at 11:45:58 by Admiral

Fun is Mandatory
RDI Staff
Karma: 353/55
6361 Posts

so sorry

Kilmorrigan, on bahalf of the Red Dragon Inn family and staff, I offer our sincerest condolences. Both you and your uncle are valued members of our community, and our hearts go out to you in such a time of loss.

It is unfortunate how family often react to such tragedies; if I may offer a piece of unsolicted advice, try to minimize the extra pain that this causes you. Grief can make people deal with things in irrational ways, including having as little to do with the situation as possible. So many families have permanent wedges driven between them due to people behaving in the manner you describe. I'm absolutely not defending the sisters - family should be there for one another - just warning that anger over these actions can have permanent effects on your family.

But that's neither here nor there. We at the Inn of course understand the absences of you and your uncle. We hope that, when time has allowed enough healing to take place, that you will rejoin us. From the description given by Utan, it sounds as if your late uncle also derived a lot of enjoyment from gaming... I expect that he would be not feel slighted, but honored that you continue to do so, as well.

But only when you are ready.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 13:35:26.
Edited on 2009-04-16 at 13:36:38 by t_catt11

Typing Furiously
RDI Staff
Karma: 177/19
3012 Posts


This is some sad news indeed. Give your uncle my/our condolences, please. Let him know we're thinking of him.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 16:11:14.

Trilogy Master
RDI Staff
Karma: 175/117
6365 Posts

My thoughts to you

The pain of losing a family member or friend never goes away, Even to this day I still find myself missing my two friends who died in Panama and my Dad who died in 2000.
But in time the pain for me grew from hurt to a kind of rememberance that still brings a smile to my face.

I hope you will find the same peace as I have and that you and your Uncle do return to the Inn. Sometimes the best way to remember a friend or family member is to be with others who remember them too.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 18:25:52.

Regular Visitor
Karma: 13/17
76 Posts

First of many thanks

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. All have been printed and will be taken to Utan on my next visit.

Yes, my uncle Jay was Wyrmsting.

I was raised with the teaching that family had an obligation and a duty to provide help and support to other family members in the event of any tragedy that befell them, regardless of it's severity. My mother's and aunts' lack of the obligation that they instilled in me is saddening and dissapointing, to be sure, but there is no animosity there. In their own time they will realize their "faux pas" and hopefully make amends, but that is for them to decide. I make no judgment. They are family and I still love them in spite of my disappointment.

While Uncle Mahlon (Utan) is divorcing himself from gaming for a while, I have taken up the maintenance of Wyrnsting's gaming domain and websites, for now (such as it is). He put too much effort into it's creation to just let it die and disappear.

The loss of Uncle Mahlon is hard, but there is no sadness. I am already at peace with his passing. I live with the philosophy that loss and death are but two of the "stepping stones" along the path of life. You can trip over them, fall and fail, or you can recognize them for what they are, necessary and inevitable, and move past them and on to more and better things. Remembrace is the key. Taking the love and memory of those lost with you as you move your path means you are also taking what you have learned from them, and anything learned from that love has value.

I am thankful to be able to have employment and job security in these times, and with the additional duties I have recently undertaken, I think I have "maxed out" my time usage. Harsh as it may sound, I am also thankful that my wife and I decided not to have children yet. I need feel no guilt about the lack of
quality time" my current situation would cause for them. I have time enough for my wife and a few quiet moments for myself, but that is about it for now.

I have Uncle Wyrm's computer for the nonce and, in perusing his e-mails to see what needs to be dealt with, I notice that he has quite a few PMs that need to be answered. I will find time to respond to as many of them as I can as soon as I can make the time ...

Again, thank you all.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 22:11:31.

RDI Fixture
Karma: 64/11
1269 Posts


I would like to offer my condolences to you and your family. Know that you are all in our thoughts.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 23:42:48.

Karma: 13/10
230 Posts

I not sure what to say.

I have spent all day trying to come up with something to say it is hard when we lose someone and I came up with nothing that will really mean much. This loss effects us all and it hard to put into words how we feel sometimes since most of us consider innmates part of thier family and when they are hurting we are hurting when they lose someone we feel we have all lost someone. In this case it is really close to us with him being a innmate and one most of us know. I guess I am trying to say is it is srry and saddening that we all had to lose someone and have to feel the pain of that loss. That is about all I could come up with I knew Wyrm and had played in some of him games and had read some I might not have known as well as others but still feel the loss like most of us do.

Posted on 2009-04-16 at 23:59:02.

RDI Staff
Karma: 357/190
6190 Posts


Your Uncle was great guy, and a pleasure to game and chat with, and his passing is a terrible to loss to both this site and all who knew him. Best wishes to you and Utan during this time.

Posted on 2009-04-17 at 00:36:51.

I'm doing SCIENCE!
RDI Staff
Karma: 163/50
1835 Posts


While no less tragic, knowing that it was indeed our Wyrmy puts a certain context on his passing. I was a huge fan of his work here at the Inn, having played in his Inheritance game and his new upcoming one.

He was truly a great writer, a great DM, and just an overall great guy.

I just can't find the words, but suffice to say the Inn was made a better place for having known him.

Posted on 2009-04-17 at 07:55:30.
Edited on 2009-04-17 at 09:45:58 by Admiral

Angel Reincarnated
Karma: 86/22
1142 Posts

Wyrmsting's passing...

I am very sorry for your loss. The few times I had the honour of speaking with him, it was always a great time. He had such passion with writing, and such a wonderful mind to accompany this said passion. To hear of his passing brings sorrow upon all of us here at the inn. I wish only there was something i could do for you.

I am glad that you have found peace in his passing, and i cannot agree with you more. Death is one of the few things in life that are certain. Most people fear death without reason. It is only a stage of our life, and we pass into something different, our bodies become at peace. I shall keep your uncle in my thoughts and in my prayers. He had such a great soul. *hugs* Take as much time as you need, because otherwise you won't be able to let go of the pain. Believe me, I've experienced both.

Posted on 2009-04-17 at 11:28:26.

Dragon Fodder
Karma: 80/19
2264 Posts

I've never been much for words in times of death...

So I'll borrow those of another, and send best wishes to those that live in with his memory. Wyrm and I didn't talk much, but those short conversations lent credit to a spirit of strength and determination, and he will be missed.

No Coward Soul Is Mine
a poem by Emily Bronte

No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear.

O God within my breast,
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life, that in me has rest,
As I, undying Life, have power in Thee!.

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts: unutterably vain;
Worthless as withered weeds,
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by Thy infinity,
So surely anchored on
The steadfast rock of Immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.

Though earth and moon were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou wert left alone,
Every existence would exist in Thee.

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou -Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed.

Posted on 2009-04-17 at 15:58:22.

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