The addle-pated Djinn gets you a job as British Petroleum's new VP of Media Relations. Go ahead--convince us there's no oil spill out there! Or at the very least, that there's a workable response planned.
"We care about the 'small people'." This was an actual quote from one of BP's spin doctors some weeks ago. I'm so glad BP is looking out for Gnomes and Halflings.
I wish one of every Ioun Stone in the DMG (3.5 ed, please)
The Addle-Pated Djinn merrily sends you on an all expense paid trip to the dark side of the moon. There are no weapons, no indigenous life-forms, no dangerous weather formations, no people, no internet or cell phone service, no one to give you poor customer service, no technology outside your 25th century enviro-suit, no politicians, no door-to-door salespeople, no religious zealots, no traffic, no crappy instrumental versions of yesterday's hits, no movies directed by Uwe Boll, no Justin Bieber, no Chris Hansen and "To Catch a Predator," no flowers to aggravate your allergies, no sun to blind you or burn your skin, no government, no taxes.
Just take in all the peaceful nothing around you, get into the Lotus Pose and find your center and relax--until your oxygen runs out.
I wish for the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip to return.
The Addle-pated Djinn has heard your plea for polar avian companionship--and has sent you to Antarctica. Seeing as how this is Summer here, you are unfortunately not properly dressed for the climate. Oh, and if it's Summer here, it's actually Winter down there. And it's very, very dark. You can barely see your new penguin pet. It is only a matter of time before you fail enough Fortitude and Will Saves and you eat it. And then inevitably turn into a popsicle.
Maybe you should have wished for a Pengin Chinpokomon. I hear they were rather rare.
Granted! You learn the mystic and eldritch art of making wine--from beets. Despite the most lavish advertising and promotion campaign of all time, the beet wine fails horribly. At least it pairs well with borscht! Filet Mignon? Enh, not so much.