The day will never end. The earth has stopped revolving and the location you are at now has an everlasting day, while the rest of the world or at least half of it is cursed to eternal darkness on the far side.
You don't instead a troupe of circus midgets come into your house and cook you dinner. They make a gigantic mess, the food is terrible, and when they leave they forget to take the small dog that jumps on the trampoline off your table.
You get your wish...Gout goes away to college leaving you an empty room. You redecorate Gout's room with daisies and pink chiffon and advertise for a boarder. Arthritis shows up and takes Gout's room. Gout quits school unexpectedly and comes home to live only to find Arthritis in his joint.
I wish I was way down yonder in the land of cotton
Granted. You magically come and live in Alabama, filled with mosquitos, humidity, and the constant smell of everyone else's sweat. On the upside living is 1/2 the cost.. on the downside.. you get paid 1/4 your old salary. Which means that even if you wanted to move out of the bug filled armit of the states, you could never afford the move anywhere else.
I wish I had a really good recipe for watermelon pickles.