Really well written, and as they (points up) have said it is deep.
This piece hits a lot of nerves which stir some settled emotions. I'm one of those guys who bottles things up, buries it deep, and pushes it out of mind. I can completely relate to fixating upon an object, or song, or person who assists in channeling the emotions away when they rekindle, and with the feeling that there are moments when there is nothing left to do but let it all out.
Recently I've done a lot of reflecting actually....
Again, your work is sublime Chess.
Posted on 2011-08-13 at 02:38:04.
Edited on 2011-08-13 at 04:26:42 by Tuned_Out
Vanadia Den Mother RDI Staff Karma: 111/12 1188 Posts
The pacing and rhythm both support the mood of the poem, the ebb and flow of the sea echoing the surge and wane of our emotions. I like also how your restraint in describing the boy's responses allow us to infer our own experiences. Too often people describe a moment too fully, making the reader be passive, instead of letting us feel the spaces between your words.
Thanks for all the reviews so far.... Wouldn't say no to more though! (end of plug)
Seriously, I'm glad it is so meaningful to you guys... but I have to be honest, while some of the symbolism was planned, a lot of the stuff you guys are talking about wasn't intentional... at least not in the way you guys see it... I was just... me....
Kyle and Maggot find themselves sitting quietly one evening in the inn at Kyle’s usual table. Maggot leans in and whispers, ‘Look Kyle, Battle cleric of the Sea Godess; you know how much I hate the world of man, why do you bring me here?’
Kyle lifts a hand as if to say, ‘Shhh, soon you will see.’ It is then a young bard steps for the crowd and places himself by the grand fireplace. Kyle speaks quietly to the old man, ‘Chessicfayth, The Bard.’ Kyle points.
The Inn falls silent and Chessicfayth begins…
When Chess finishes Kyle smiles and lifts his tankard high, “Such words stir emotions deep and for a long time they will go with those who have heard them this very eve.”
The old man Maggot looks at Kyle, “This is why I hate the world of man! Out there away from things such as this, I do not have to hear things that remind me of the pain that is brought on by others,” Maggot stand and storms out of the Inn.
Kyle looks at Chessicfayth, “Sadness, Happiness, Joy, and Sorrow. These are the things that make us human. Well done Chessicfayth.”
This is the sort of work that touches strange chords in me. It's emotion evoking and is the sort of thing that makes me bawl without explanation. It just conveys a morose feeling... and one I can't fully describe. Like a sense of loss for me...