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Celeste
Hippy-snapper!
Karma: 138/3
1049 Posts


wow

your comment in Dragon Chat that this didn't convey powerful emotions doesn't apply to me at all, Chess.



Posted on 2011-08-13 at 01:17:42.

Princess of the Elves
Newbie
Karma: 23/1
16 Posts


there are no words

I don't even know what to say. This is your best piece of work in my opinion. It conveys deep emotion and its truly a masterpiece.

Be happy.


Posted on 2011-08-13 at 02:17:33.

Tiamat5774
5 Headed Dracohydra
Karma: 80/23
1117 Posts


As I said in chat

Go over the top with emotions and you will stir emotions in others. If you put any more feeling into this I would have cried. You have a way with words.


Posted on 2011-08-13 at 02:35:26.

Tuned_Out
Khash Munee
Karma: 47/0
707 Posts


Self Reflection

Really well written, and as they (points up) have said it is deep.

This piece hits a lot of nerves which stir some settled emotions. I'm one of those guys who bottles things up, buries it deep, and pushes it out of mind. I can completely relate to fixating upon an object, or song, or person who assists in channeling the emotions away when they rekindle, and with the feeling that there are moments when there is nothing left to do but let it all out.

Recently I've done a lot of reflecting actually....

Again, your work is sublime Chess.


Posted on 2011-08-13 at 02:38:04.
Edited on 2011-08-13 at 04:26:42 by Tuned_Out

Vanadia
Den Mother
RDI Staff
Karma: 111/12
1188 Posts


Well done

The pacing and rhythm both support the mood of the poem, the ebb and flow of the sea echoing the surge and wane of our emotions. I like also how your restraint in describing the boy's responses allow us to infer our own experiences. Too often people describe a moment too fully, making the reader be passive, instead of letting us feel the spaces between your words.

Again, well done.


Posted on 2011-08-16 at 02:40:59.

Chessicfayth
Cheshire Cad
Karma: 102/3
1170 Posts


um..... wow

Thanks for all the reviews so far.... Wouldn't say no to more though! (end of plug)

Seriously, I'm glad it is so meaningful to you guys... but I have to be honest, while some of the symbolism was planned, a lot of the stuff you guys are talking about wasn't intentional... at least not in the way you guys see it... I was just... me....

*shrugs and evaporates*


Posted on 2011-08-16 at 05:01:21.

Pit F(r)iend
Welcome Waggin'
Karma: 115/3
1245 Posts


qwerty

Bloody amazing stuff, Chessic. Whatever fears you may have had in posting this are, given this community and your undeniable talent, quite unfounded.

I think I got through my third read-through before I couldn't see the screen anymore through the tears.

Just brilliant work here--keep at it guy 'cause you my friend have something special!


Posted on 2011-08-16 at 14:30:40.

Eol Fefalas
Keeper of the Kazari
RDI Staff
Karma: 454/28
7869 Posts


Whoa...

Fantastic work, Chess. This is incredible work... very moving... very touching... very evocative... immersing, even.

Kind of puts me in mind of that Silverstein piece about the boy and the tree... *nods*... stirs up that same set of emotions in me, anyway.

Got to agree with the others here and say that this has got to be your best, yet. Don't let that stop you, though... keep writing. We all want to see more, I'm sure!

+1 for bringing a tear to ol' Eol's eye, yeah?


Posted on 2011-08-16 at 16:41:05.

Kyle
Epic Level Bard
Karma: 31/3
557 Posts


To move one with words

Kyle and Maggot find themselves sitting quietly one evening in the inn at Kyle’s usual table. Maggot leans in and whispers, ‘Look Kyle, Battle cleric of the Sea Godess; you know how much I hate the world of man, why do you bring me here?’

Kyle lifts a hand as if to say, ‘Shhh, soon you will see.’ It is then a young bard steps for the crowd and places himself by the grand fireplace. Kyle speaks quietly to the old man, ‘Chessicfayth, The Bard.’ Kyle points.

The Inn falls silent and Chessicfayth begins…

When Chess finishes Kyle smiles and lifts his tankard high, “Such words stir emotions deep and for a long time they will go with those who have heard them this very eve.”

The old man Maggot looks at Kyle, “This is why I hate the world of man! Out there away from things such as this, I do not have to hear things that remind me of the pain that is brought on by others,” Maggot stand and storms out of the Inn.

Kyle looks at Chessicfayth, “Sadness, Happiness, Joy, and Sorrow. These are the things that make us human. Well done Chessicfayth.”


Posted on 2011-08-21 at 03:55:21.

Kriea
postima prolifica
Karma: 74/7
691 Posts


Funny tummy feelings

This is the sort of work that touches strange chords in me. It's emotion evoking and is the sort of thing that makes me bawl without explanation. It just conveys a morose feeling... and one I can't fully describe. Like a sense of loss for me...


Posted on 2012-03-29 at 04:45:15.

   
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