Alacrity The Tired RDI Staff Karma: 291/33 6283 Posts
Hello my friends, colleagues and fellow members.
As many of you know, I have a four year old son, William who was recently diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). It is called a spectrum disorder because such a large range of symptoms and issues that it cannot be nailed down. If you meet one child with ASD then you have met one child. They will not be the same as another, just a few common features of the disorder. In general, you have a lack of social skills and interaction, a loss or deficit in speech and Behavioural problems that are anti-social and disruptive. It is a neurological disorder but they have no idea why or how it starts, where the disease comes from but it now effects 1 in 88 children in North America.
We have spent the last four years of our lives in a constant struggle. At first it was to understand what was wrong, then to get someone to examine him and give us some guidance and after that, going through doctor after doctor telling us "he'll be fine, he'll catch up" when we knew that wasn't true. We signed up for programs, waited months upon months to get into programs. 15 moths waiting list for a assessment on his development and the doctors dropped us off the list after 8 months due to a jurisdiction issue. We finally paid for our own assessment , which we got on Dec 11, 2011.
So now we are going through the process of getting him into programs to help him, because if you start soon enough, you can do something - you can lead him to a possible normal life. There is a lot of education of us as well as William and the programs are lengthy and we have to learn to become expert therapists in speech and behaviour as well. After all, we will be around him the most. There is no lead physician or coordinator to help you though. You are thrown into the water and basically you need to learn the system or else. This is part of why I was having trouble keeping up with my games over the last year or so.
Which brings me to the point of this long winded letter. I am going to end most of my games on the inn. Not out of any dislike for the games or anything any of the players did or did not do, but because i don't have the time. Being a DM is not a simple task, or at least not for me, I put a lot of work into my games and I can spend hours a week on the game - but not anymore. Destiny's Flight, Escape from Castle Rautenberg and Audalis Dreaming are effectively over. I am sorry to all the players but given the choice between family and games ... well you get the picture. I will continue to play out the Voyages of Rocinante, because I hope I can handle one game and I love that game so. Cathy agrees with me and will attempt to post for Willow soon. Bromern and I will continue to produce RPG Mythbreakers on a sorta-monthly basis. I will also keep Floyd Hobart going as long as Brittany wishes to draw it.
I had suggested to Olan that I would walk away completely from the inn. He was very supportive of any decision I made but he couldn't see the inn existing without me. In fact, he was quite horrified of the prospect. I think he overestimates my importance and I appreciate the flattery. I have been friends with Olan for over ten years now, even traveled all the way to Alabama to meet him in person once. Whether I am the "backbone" of the inn or not, this website is my site too and I can't leave it completely.
William is a wonderful boy who teaches me about myself every day. In October 2010, he didn't say anything beyond his letters and numbers 1-10. He didn't us mom or dad. He didn't even say yes or no. Tantrums of the fiercest nature were 3-4 times daily and he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. Now he speaks in 3-4 word sentences, he calls us mom and dad and even calls his sister by name (Veronica). He is starting to spell his words and has a lengthy vocabulary that is growing. He smiles and will meet your eye. He is developing a sense of humour and has friends in school.
My father used to say, "Never give up on life until ten minutes after you draw your last breath." William is named after him and if he has half the spirit and determination that my father did, then he'll be okay. I may be 1 in 88 to the world, but he is 1 in a million to me.
So my sincere apologies to my friends for abandoning the games, but I hope you will understand.
Roger (Alacrity) Briant
Posted on 2012-04-02 at 02:33:26.
Edited on 2012-04-02 at 02:33:48 by Alacrity
Seeing how I had a feeling you were coming to this conclusion after our recent trade of PM's and emails, though I thought perhaps you might decide to fully leave the Inn and am very glad you are not. I must agree what you are doing is clearly for the best. Real Life in no matter what form it sometimes takes must come first and your a stronger person for having the courage to do what must be done.
As a player in two out of the three games ending I will sorely miss the Castle and what might have been, but as a player also in Voyages of Rocinante I have to admit I would have missed that one the most had you ended it also. Roger no matter what lies ahead for all of us in the friendships in our lives, though we may trade barbs and hurtful words, and sometimes wish ourselves dead, know that if you need a helping hand or the words of a friend I and I’m sure the rest of the Staff will always be there for you and the fam.
Posted on 2012-04-02 at 02:54:41.
Edited on 2012-04-02 at 02:58:51 by TannTalas
We would all support any decision you made for your family.
That said, you are part of a core of players that would change the Inn forever upon your departure. Not in a good way either. I cannot bring myself to feel bad that you are staying. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
The 4 word sentence I can't wait for him to utter.
Posted on 2012-04-02 at 04:21:17.
Raven Resident Finn RDI Staff Karma: 70/3 1021 Posts
Alacrity, you know you have special spot in my heart. A spot our 10+ year friendship and kindred spirits have made possible. I will always support you in any decision you make, be it of this scale or less. I'm sure leaving the games behind was a tough call as I know how much you put love and effort into each and every one of them. But given the options you had, I'm fairly sure making up your mind wasn't so difficult after all. Family must and will always come first.
And since I and most of us here at the Inn, I'm sure, consider you an integral part of our second family, I'm glad you won't be leaving completely. However more than being a part of you game, I wish to one day soon fulfill my long time dream of meeting you and yours in person. It's a long flight over the big A. But one day we'll do it. That is a promise.
Alacrity, Vanadia, MMW and little William, I love you guys. Life permitting, do come back with full force one day!
Posted on 2012-04-02 at 05:10:29.
Eol Fefalas Keeper of the Kazari RDI Staff Karma: 453/28 7533 Posts
Yup... what all of them done did said...
Glad to hear that you're not leaving us entirely, Roger. Olan is/was right when he told you that the Inn just wouldn't be the same without you, you know? Not sure what we might do if we didn't have you looming over our shoulders with the ban-hammer.
As, always, my friend, regardless of how much time you can spend with us here at the old Red Dragon, know that we all love you (and yours, of course) and are here for you in whatever capacity you may need.
Everyone’s got it right, Al. No worries! Family is always number one, and I’m glad that things have improved so much for your son. Thank you for being so candid with all of us!
This Inn would have a seriously large, sad hole in it if you decided to leave. I’m glad you’re sticking around. Besides, I don’t think there is anyone here that has the power to wield Alacrity’s Ban Hammer.
Glad that you have found help and that your son is showing improvement. Our son is going for testing in a month to see "if "he is in any of the ASD. I am hoping they will tell me he is a boy who is too smart and public school is way to boring.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
and no need to apologize either. Rautenberg was fun while it lasted. Also, you won't be gone completely, so I'm not giving up hope that one day time will come in more generous amounts to you once more and you can start up new games.