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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> Creativity Forum --> Personal Creations --> Reposting: Untitled (still looking for a name, folks)
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Cheshire Cad
Karma: 102/3
1178 Posts

Reposting: Untitled (still looking for a name, folks)

So yeah, the Facebook AFD joke got me hard, and I pulled this down. Here it is again, if anyone cares to look.


This is a short story I randomly decided to write. I have no idea where
the idea came from.. i just started writing and this is what happened.
Any and all feedback welcome.

Credit to: (insert name of person to give me a title I like)

-To clarify, ~~~~ means a switch between the present and the past.


She moved swiftly through the woods, righteous anger lending her an
almost supernatural speed. It wasn't fast enough. Raina was impatient.
She thirsted for the blood of her enemies; for they had taken from her
the only man she had ever loved.

Talanthir was gentle and kind. He had no taste for fighting, preferring
to sing and dance, write poetry or compose new songs for all to enjoy;
and he was gifted indeed. It had been his pure voice that had first
attracted Raina five years ago. He sang of distant lands, wondrous
sights, and emotions so deep they could drown your very soul...

She slowed, making sure to remain hidden. In the distance, she could
see their camp. A rabble of goblins and orcs, even a troll or two.
Somewhere in there her prey was hiding. An old sorceror, ancient when
Raina herself was still young. She smiled a joyless smile. A panther's
grin before it pounces.

Talanthir was wise beyond his years. His many travels gave him
experience, and he had great influence gained through his excellence as
a minstrel. It had taken some 10 years, but he had finally convinced
the Council of Elders of the threat posed by Dratarcan. They would now
take steps to capture the madman.

Raina crept closer, careful to remain hidden. Cover was scarce, but her
people were the most woodwise of all the Sylvari, and Raina had no
equal among them. She stopped again, scanning for sentries. She was
more than a match for a number of goblins and orcs, but if entire camp
was alerted now, all the woodcraft in the world wouldn't save her plan.
Offering a brief prayer to Ehlonna, she was on the move again, quieter
than the whispering wind.

Dratarcan hadn't lived this long by being foolish. The manhunt was
turning up very little. He had gone to ground, vansihing into thin air.
People claiming to know his whereabouts either died mysteriously, or
woke up one morning unable to remember who THEY were, let alone who
Dratarcan was.

Talanthir was not one to watch others suffer. He left to gather
information himself, arguing that a lone bard was less conspicuous than
an army of spies. Raina pleaded to go along, to give protection to her
beloved, but to no avail. Talanthir was determined she would not put
herself in danger. Especially not for him....

Raina slowed, hearing twigs snap off to her left. In the blink of an
eye, she was up the nearest tree, watching and listening. The situation
was painfully familiar. The world fell into darkness, as she

It had taken two days hard travel, but Raina had finally caught up, and
was following Talanthir from a small distance. Halfway through their
journey, she was finally starting to relax, to think she had worried
for nothing.

That night, there was an explosion at Talanthir's camp. She quickly sat
up, almost losing her balance in the tree she had slept in. Orcs and
goblins had nearly surrounded the small camp, their war cries drowning
out the rest of the world. From the remains of his shelter, Talanthir
crawled out, badly burned, a stray piece of wood through is thigh.

Rains quickly noched an arrow and aimed, but didn't fire. None of them
were moving. What were they waiting for? Talanthir inched forward,
aiming for the gap in their lines.

Suddenly all fell silent. Raina cringed, able to hear the dreadful
scraping as Talanthir slowly covered ground. Then, he appeared,
seemingly formed from the shadows themselves. Dratarcan. Talanthir
ceased moving, a hard look on his face. The two exchanged words so
softly Raina couldn't make them out. Dratarcan chuckled and pointed in
her direction; no, he was pointing directly at her! The forest parted,
tress bending or shrinking our of the way, reveaing her to all.

For the first time, Talanthir looked afraid. He spoke feverisly,
elliciting more laughter from the sorceror. Her anger firing up, Raina
shifted her aim and fired. Ths seemed to amuse Dratarcan farther. with
a gesture, he froze the arrow, mere inches from his face; with another,
he sent it flying back at her, as fast as she had shot it. Caught off
guard, there was little Raina could do to get out of the way. But
wheter it was divine protection, or Dratarcan's carelessness, it was
not a killing shot. The arrow grazed her left eye, cutting across her
temple and knocking her to the ground. She landed hard and rolled,
coming to rest on her side, facing her love. Broken ribs punctured her
lung, ensuring she could do nothing but whimper in pain.

Talanthir screamed into the night, his voice full of dispair. Raina lay
there, staring helplessly on as Dratarcan cast his final spell,
bringing Talanthir's existence to an end.

Raina's eye snapped open, instantly alert again. She berated herself
for allowing the distraction. She could mourn later, if there was a
later. The patrol long passed, she dropped to the ground and once again
began working her way towards the camp.

When Raina awoke, she found herself back in her family's home. A search
party had been sent as soon as she was discovered missing, arriving
just after Dratarcan had departed. A skilled healer among them managed
to save her life, but there was no salvaging her eye. Raina cared
little. Her plans remained unchanged by the loss of an eye. Only
delayed, until she had trained to adjust her aim.

Two months later, she was ready. Far from being impaired, her skill
with bow and blade, already unmatched, had now reached legendary
heights. Dratarcan, far from hiding, had amassed a small army to the
south, and was rumored to be preparing to march. Raina had no intention
of letting thigns go that far. she readied for her mission, claiming
her birhtright, the two great heirlooms of the Orelon family. The
first, a quiver, which was never emptied, no matter how many arrows
were drawn from it. The second, a long bow. This was, however, no
ordinary long bow. Along the front, top and bottom, following the curve
of the wood, were set two wicked blades, eternally sharp. They left
just enough space in the middle to grip and shoot, and enough on the
ends for the bow to be flexible enough to draw. It was unique, a weapon
that could only be wielded by an Orelon. she looked down at her
reflection in the blades, a hand running over her eye-patch. Only one
more thing was needed be for she departed. She had a visit to make. She
would need Aldor's help.

Moving ever slower, Raina came to a stop just behind the tree line. She
hadn't anticipated an army this large, but it made little difference.
With the head cut off, the body would fall. She only needed to ensure
the head was looking the other way.

She waited, and before long her patience was rewarded. A small
two-goblin patrol. They would be easy to kill, but the key here was
stealth. An arrow to the throat dropped the first one. Before he hit
the ground, Raina was behind the second, drawing the bladed side of her
bow across the others neck. She hid the bodies, then reclaimed her
perch in the tree. Soon they would figure her out and come running.

Two more patrols were dispatched in a like manner, and Raina began to
fear that they would not---

she smirked to herself. She could see them coming. Several goblins and
orcs, and the troll. They were about to play right into her hands.

The old wizard shook his head in disbelief. "Are you mad?"
Raina glared at him, the cold in her eyes carrying over to her voice,
"I did not come her for advice, nor your opinoins, old man. Now, can
you do it or not?" Aldor shook his head, handing her a small ring. "The
first you ask is simple. This ring will suffice. But the second..."

She had to act now, before they were too close. She loosed two arrows.
One at the lead orc, to confuse the party, and the other at the troll,
taking out its right eye. It had the desired effect, namely to cause
the troll to roar in pain. She gripped the ring tightly, and focused
hard. Below and in front of her, the air shimmered, and another Raina
stepped from the tree line. This one was taller, more muscular... more
noticeable. It began firing a mass of arrows, even faster than Raina
herself, though of course the were all fake. Before the enemy could
figure this out, Raina drew her own bow and began firing as well. In
all the confusion, none would notice there were two sets of arrows.

One after the other, Raina's arrows found there mark. Taking out goblin
after goblin after orc, and even the trolls other eye. As if on cue, a
mob from the camp showed up, the same war cry on their tongues she had
heard all those months ago. Once they caught sight of the false Raina
they charged. She grasped the ring again. the illusion ran off, firing
arrows wildly behind it as the massive hoard ran after. Raina smirked,
dropping to the ground and circling around the camp away from them.
Once they lost sight of the false Raina, they would search for a time,
then report back. She had perhaps an hour at best.

She slid through the camp like a ghost. It was by no means empty, but
thin enough now to be infiltrated. She was discovered a few times, but
quickly silenced any witnesses, tarrying only long enough to hide
evidence of her passing.

Finally, she reached the main tent. Quickly removing the sentries, she
slipped in, watching for any sign she had been detected. She would not
underestimate Dratarcan. She slowly crept along the edge of the tent,
noticing how much bigger it was on the inside than it had looked from
without. As she reached the back end, she froze. Against her will, she
straightned and turned around.

"Bravo, Raina," the old elf said, smirking. "... to have made it so
far. I loved what you did to my troll. You have quite the sense of
humor... an eye for an eye, eh?" Dratarcan gave a soft, cold laugh.

"Come out where I can see you, Dratarcan, and I'll give you a new hole
to laugh from," Raina spat.

He stepped from the shadows, hand raised toward her. "You know better
than that, my dear. I have total control here." To prove it, he raised
his hand, lifting her off the ground and holding her in air. "What did
you hope to accomplish? Trying to save your poor, pathetic, forest? I
shall burn that place to the ground!" For a moment, Dratarcan's mask of
composure slipped, his face contorted in rage. Then he ws himself again.

It was Raina's turn to offer a cold laugh. "I come not to save the
living, they can look after themselves. I come to avenge the dead."

Dratarcan sneered. "Your precious Talanthir? That worthless nobody, who
thought he could stand against Dratarcan? Me, the mightiest sorceror
the Sylvari have ever known?"

Raina fought to calm herself. Right now, emotions would only get her
killed. Dratarcan, however, was making no such effort, a mistake she
planned to take full advantage of. "Talk is cheap, spell caster," she
said, putting every ounce of derision she could into these words.
"Release me, fight me, and prove you are not a coward!"

The childish taunt work, and in a fit of rising anger, Dratarcan
dropped his hand, releasing her. Raina hit the ground running, already
drawing her bow, bringing it down in a killing arc that would surely
rend the madman's head from his shoulders. However, instead of being
slain, Dratarcan melted from beneath the blade, disappearing and
reappearing behind her, hand poised to case the same spell that had
been the ruin of Talanthir's camp. Raina ducked and rolled away, as the
ground where she had been exploded. Then she ws up and running,
circling the tent and firing away.

"Do you never learn," Dratarcan roared, repelling them as before. They
missed one after another as Raina circled still firing. Then one change
course, grazing her shoulder and cutting the strap of her quiver,
forcing her to continue circling without it to avoid the sorceror's
returning fire. She had only the last arrow she had drawn.

"...the second is much more difficult. Such power into such a small
space. Do you understand what you are asking?" the old wizard cried.
"If I make one mistake, you could end up killing yourself!"

Raina gave him the same cold stare. "Then do not make a mistake."

Reluctantly, Aldor stretched out his hand, a blue glow surrounding his
palm as he chanted. The light condensed then flooded to the object in
Raina's hand. "That is all I can do... use it well, young elf."

Dratacan grinned pure malice. "What will you do now, Raina? You have
only one stick left to throw. Who knows, maybe this will be the one
that works." He laughed again, a sound that should have sent chills up
Raina's spine. Instead, she smiled her panther smile. In his sense of
triumph, Dratarcan had not noticed that this arrow had not been drawn
from her quiver, but from her vest.

"I think you may be right, sorceoror," she said, firing. The ancient
elf laughed, raising his hand as before. However, instead of stopping,
the arrow began to glow, pulsing blue light, and gained speed. By the
time Dratarcan realized what had happened, it ws too late. There was a
hole through his palm, and an arrow in his heart.

He fell to the ground, his other hand trying to form a dying curse.
Raina moved in and slashed the wrist, then his head. Dratarcan was no
more. And yet she felt no satisfaction. All of this had not brought
Talanthir back to her.

Raina tensed at the great clamor that had broken out in camp. Now they
would come, and Raina would surely die. She waited, but nothing came
bursting into the tent. Cautiously, she peeked outside, only to see the
camp engulfed in chaos.

The golins, orcs, and remaining troll were all fighting one another. It
seemed Dratarcan had been using most of his vast power to keep them
under control. It is always the downfall of those with power; they
continue seeking more.

She retrieved her quiver, taking a moment to repair the strap, then
slid from the tent into the night. It was like she had never been there.

Raina stopped some miles away. What would she do now? The serpent was
harmless, now that it was headless.

She found she had no desire to return. Talanthir was still dead, and
her memories of him haunted every corner of her forest home.

She shook her head, steeling herself. She then turned and walked south,
towards the plains, and whatever Fate would send her way.

Posted on 2012-04-13 at 04:02:23.

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