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    Messages in The Bard's Handbook
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RDI Fixture
Karma: 36/8
869 Posts

The Bard's Handbook

This is a thread for lyrics to songs which are good for a bard to play and/or sing in taverns and inns across any setting, all in the same location for easy access

I'm working on these, gently adding new verses. If anyone has any contributions to make, please feel free. If you have ideas and don't know how to put them into shape, send them along in PM form and I'll put it into song.

NOTE: These songs are a mix of original songs and traditional ballads, but they're all bard-friendly. Each song is accompanied by information for when and where it should be played.

Posted on 2012-08-28 at 10:26:22.
Edited on 2012-08-28 at 13:23:50 by Darren

RDI Fixture
Karma: 36/8
869 Posts

On the Road

This ballad is about travelling, and the people that a bard encounters along the way.

In this form, it's Audalis-based, but the town and tavern names can easily be changed to make it fit with other settings. The offending words are marked in non-italic font so that they're easier to spot.

It should start with a chorus, interspersed with verses, until the final verse demanding drinks

Chorus On the road again,
Oh, all the places I've been,
On the road again,
Let me tell you what I've seen,

Verses Oh, in a tavern in Artor,
I met a nice young farmer lass,
She sold her oranges, melons too,
And she was full of guile and sass,

Palantir I met a bard,
One such as myself, you see,
Though I dare say that my singing voice,
be much better than that of he,

Drefast once I saw a troll,
Who spoke words as I to you, and more,
Though I be not as strong, or brave,
Eloquent enough am I, and not a bore,

Calestra fair I met a girl,
Taller than the tallest spire,
And when I asked her how it was,
She laughed, and breathed some fire!

Final Verse In the
Bleeding Lute I met some folks,
As strange as strange can be,
Hopefully, once they've heard my song,
They'll buy a drink for me!

Posted on 2012-08-28 at 10:30:34.
Edited on 2012-08-28 at 13:00:16 by Darren

RDI Fixture
Karma: 36/8
869 Posts

The Alehound

This is a standard jolly tavern song, known to most people. Well, the chorus at least, for each bard writes their own verses. The patrons will all sing along to the chorus and bash on the tables loudly in time.
The verses are to be interspersed with choruses, with the final chorus doubled or tripled (depending on the crowd's appreciation of the song and the bard ). The verses should be modified based on the gender and/or sexual orientation of the singer.

Chorus Oooooh, pour me an ale,
And I will sing and dance until I fall!
Aaaand I will leave to sleep at home,
And then come back for more!

Verses Oooooh, what to do to quench your thirst,
And relax after a battle?
Drink and drink until you burst,
And spout moronic babble,

Oooooh, my ol' man/lady told me not,
To keep on with the ale,
Buuuut you know me, and I know me,
And I am bound to fail,

Oooooh, find a fair maiden, ask her hand,
And take her for a dance,
Though if you've drunk, you'll step on her feet,
and there'll be no romance,

Oooooh, staggering on I find my way,
To get back to my home,
But as soon as I get there, I feel,
Compelled to go out and roam,

Oooooh, I leave my house and set off once again,
With my flagon of tin,
But alas, my feet can only guide me,
To the nearest inn!

Posted on 2012-08-28 at 10:41:04.
Edited on 2012-08-28 at 13:00:54 by Darren

Eol Fefalas
Keeper of the Kazari
RDI Staff
Karma: 453/28
7535 Posts

A couple more for you bards...

...I garnered these from hither and yon across the realms when I was playing with a bard character some time ago. Since Darren's made the effort to compile some bardic tunes, here, I figured why not tack these on, eh?

The Maid That Sold Her Barley
It's cold and raw the north winds blow
Black in the morning early
When all the hills were covered with snow,
Oh then it was winter fairly,
As I riding was riding o'er the moor,
I met a farmer's daughter,
Her cherry cheeks and sloe black eyes,
They caused my heart to falter.
I bowed my bonnet very low
To let her know my meaning.
She answered with a courteous smile,
Her looks they were engaging.
"Where are you bound my pretty maid,
It's now in the morning early."
The answer that she made to me,
"Kind sir to sell me barley."
"Now twenty guineas I've in my purse,
And twenty more that's yearly,
You need not go to the market town,
For I'll buy all your barley.
If twenty gunieas would gain the heart
Of the maid I love so dearly,
All for to tarry with me one night,
And go home in the morning early."
As I was riding o'er the moor
The very evening after,
It was my fortune for to meet
The farmer's only daughter.
Although the weather being cold and raw,
With her I thought to parley.
This answer then she made to me,
"Kind sir I've sold me barley."

Green Grow the Rushes
There's no but care on every hand
In every hour that passes oh
That signifies the life of man
and twere not for the lassies oh

Green grow the rushes oh
Green grow the rushes oh
The sweetest hours that e're I spent
Were spent among the lassies oh

The wordly race may riches chase
And riches still may fly them oh
And when at last they catch them fast
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them oh


Give me a quiet hour at e'en
My arms around my dearie oh
And warly cares and warly men
May a gae topsy-turvy oh


For you so grave you sneer at this
You're no but senseless asses oh
The wisest man the world e'er saw
Dearly loved the lassies oh


Pour Your Brother
Pour your brother one more round
Pick each other off the ground
Let another chorus sound
Pour your brother another round


Draw another draft for me
Drink till I'm too blind to see
This one's done, forget me three
Draw another draft for me


Cheers to the brewer for his brew
That they say we cannot do
Drink until the cask is through
Cheers to the brewer for his brew


Cheers to the barmaid, she's a saint
Its wondrous how she stands the straint
Catch me lass, I'm gonna faint
Cheers to the barmaid, she's a saint


Dancin' to the drummers beat
Drink with everyone you meet
Your head'll dance without your feet
Dancin' to the drummer's beat


Cheers to the lad upon my knee
Heaven bound I soon will be
It ain't a sin because it's free
Here's to the lad upon my knee


Here's to the lords and to the crown
Here's to the lady in the mocha gown
A shame it's not just a little more down
Here's to the lords and to the crown


Lassies say they never drink
They're scrubbing pots and pans you think
Well they keep the mead below the sink
Lassies say they never drink


Pour your sister one more glass
Catch the ale on the second pass
Catch the lord with that wondrous...
Pour your sister one more glass


Cheers unto my faithful friend
For all this ale, his gold I'll spend
The friendship and the song may end
But cheers unto my faithful friend
Pour your brother one more round
Pick each other off the ground
Let another chorus sound
Pour your brother another round

Edit: Note that, unlike Darren's offerings above, none of these tunes are my own work... Just random ditties that I happened to catch an earful of and thought, "y'know, I can imagine a bard singing that in a tavern"...

Posted on 2012-08-28 at 13:10:48.
Edited on 2012-08-28 at 13:19:20 by Eol Fefalas

RDI Fixture
Karma: 36/8
869 Posts

Dominic the Dirty

This is a fixed song, unlike the two previous. It was written by a famous comedy bard. You know, that famous bard. There's always that famous bard in every setting.
Anyway, this is a popular one in working class taverns and inns across the known world, where the noblemen and priests are frowned upon. I'm sure you can guess what it's about.
Note that it's unsuitable for a setting without goblins or trolls.

Once upon a good ol' time,
There was a priest by the name of Dominic,
He had an condition against his vows-ers,
He couldn't keep control of trousers,

A lady walks by, he cannot stop,
Ogling the young beauty,
And before you can say "Celibacy,"
They're doing it in the vicinity,

Oh, Dom, you dirty ol' man,
You never seem to understand,
What priests are is celibate,
What they don't do is celebrate,

They say that Dom wasn't choosy,
Even taking a goblin to bed,
I heard about this from a fellow,
That Dom had stooped to a new low,

Oh, Dom, you dirty ol' man,
You never seem to understand,
What priests are is celibate,
What they don't do is celebrate,

This lifestyle soon proved his fall,
As Dom was removed from the temple,
Never again the priestesses,
Never again the virgin caresses,

Oh, Dom, you dirty ol' man,
You never seem to understand,
What priests are is celibate,
What they don't do is celebrate,

But Dom's final fate was harsh and cruel,
He bit off far more than he could chew,
For when he made it with a troll,
When she slept, she tended to roll,

Oh, Dom, you dirty ol' man,
You never seemed to understand,
Now you're as flat as parchment,
Much to your own detriment!

Posted on 2012-08-28 at 13:20:43.
Edited on 2012-08-28 at 15:48:55 by Darren

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