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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> Rules-based RPGs --> Other Sci Fi --> Paranoia: the Only Good Commie is a Dead Commie
Related thread: Friend Computer Needs Your Help!
Related thread: Paranoia: Commies Q&A
GM for this game: t_catt11
Players for this game: Eol Fefalas, Keeper of Dragons, Nomad D2, Bud, breebles, elixir_often
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    Messages in Paranoia: the Only Good Commie is a Dead Commie
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Nomad D2
RDI Fixture
Karma: 44/4
2136 Posts

That was funny! Oh, dang, no it izn't!

The annoying jackboot led the team to a garage door.  The first to try the door was Steam.  When he got zapped to the ground Blowz was hardly surprised.  He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be annoyed.  The stupid bot hadn’t bothered to tell them the critical information.  Surely the computer had better sevants than this!  But seeing Steam zapped to the floor was funny.  Still, one should laugh at a fellow agent of the computer, so he stifled a smirk and stepped forward to do the job properly.

And got zapped to the floor himself for his troubles.  Zapping, it seemed, was one of those things that was far more humorous when it happened to someone else.  Sorta like walking into a glass door and spilling a big bowl of soylent green all over yourself.  Not that he’d done that of course, but he had seen other people do it.  He was not amused.  He was glad he had not laughed at Steam. 

After the stupid jackboot opened the door itself Blowz picked himself up from the floor and followed into everyone into the garage.  Once inside he beheld the all new friendliness hoverbot.  He liked the sound of friendly, but then the jackboot had seemed half friendly until it neglected to mention some rather crucial information.  Stupid bot.  He looked skeptically at the friendliness hoverbot.  “Anyzing ve neez zu kno vor getzing in ze bot?  Any codz or oder keyz ve needz zu avoid zapping?”  His question was intended for either bot. 

The group had a leader.  Perhaps he would fly the friendly skies.  For now, Blowz was ready to follow someone else through the opened door.  But it might work out well.  After all, the computer had chosen this transportation for them.   Perhaps it was time for a magic carpet ride.

Posted on 2018-10-13 at 15:29:56.

Keeper of Dragons
Devil's Advocate
Karma: 50/18
2062 Posts

Brighte followed along and came to the door a few seconds after those in front of him.  For a moment Brighte2 hd a moment fo fear that there would be some kind of laser guarding the door but that was just sily.  Why would friend computer put a laser on a door.  Sometimes Brighte2 wondered where his imagination came from.  Two team members got shocked atemptign to open teh door before the jackobot stepped in a provided the required information to the control panel.  Brighte2 did notice that the jackobot did not share the mission number with the team.  That bit of information along with the sarcasm and almost certain purposeful way in which it allowed two team members to be shocked made Brighte2 question its motives.  Was it really working for friend computer?  He woudl certainly need to keep an eye on this jackobot. 



Posted on 2018-10-13 at 18:12:43.

Eol Fefalas
Witless Protection
RDI Staff
Karma: 435/28
6992 Posts

Fuming enough internally, now, that it was likely starting to register on his externals, Ammpe stomped along behind the jackboot as it lead the team down yet another featureless corridor; this one ending at a blank door with a terminal set to one side.

"BEE-DEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP," Jackie states, "the mission transportation is located in the garage through this door."

Steam reached for the door handle - and received a nasty electrical jolt that knocked him to the ground.

"BEE-DEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP," Jackie spoke, "I apologize for the omission, superior troubleshooters. This door will only open to an individual that presents the mission number."

Ammpe drew in a long, deliberate breath and tried to keep from shaking his head in disbelief. He glanced at the stunned Steam, then, and almost smirked… See what happens when you put blind trust in robots even if they were sent by Friend Computer; bless his holy circuits… He lifted his hand to rub at the back of his neck, then, the smirk dissolving into something more of a scowl… And what’s this about a mission number? Were we given a mission number? I remember a Team number but not a…

“MAO-17859 Dot R-2,” he heard Blowz recite before he could even finish thinking the thought.

OOOOOHHHHH!!! He winced as Blowz toppled to the ground next to Steam; That had to sting! You don’t get a smell like that if you’re holding back current. If you all would give a Team Leader time to think, maybe…

"BEE-DEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP," the rustbuckobot prattled. "Clearly, my communication circuits have failed you, oh wise ones. MAO-17859 Dot R-2 is your team number. You must present your mission number. Please, allow me to deactivate the door."

MAYBE I”D GET A CHANCE TO FINISH A THOUGHT THEN SPEAK AND WARN YOU OF STUPID MISTAKES YOU’RE ABOUT TO MAKE!!! Ammpe wasn’t entirely sure, now, that the ozone smell was coming solely from the air around him; in fact, he was pretty certain his brain had just fried in much the same fashion as Steam and Blowz. As Jackie moved to interface with the door, the PS clone pressed the palms of his hands tight against his ears and scrunched his eyes shut to keep any sparks, smoke, or smell resultant of his apparent power-shortage to escape…

"BEE-DEE-BEE-DEE-BEEP, you may now proceed safely,” the bot buzzed, as Ammpe became convinced that his head hadn’t blown apart and nothing was leaking out of it, “I hope that no lasting harm has come to any of this esteemed team."

Me too! Ammpe grumbled internally, letting go of his head and opening his eyes in order to follow along safely as Jackie lead them to the waiting transport. When they reached the obviously modified craft, he eyed it with no small amount of uncertainty. Sure, he thought, that looks completely safe and standard. I’m not sure I’d even know…

 "BING! Welcome, troubleshooters. I am the new, perfected Alpha-19.87b Friendliness Hoverbot. Please watch your step while boarding."

The door swings open, and the hoverbot sweetly speaks again. "BING! Welcome aboard. All mutants are traitors! If you are a traitor, please inform me so that we can reroute to the nearest confession booth."

"BING!" it continues. "Please designate a pilot for our journey."

…how to drive one of these… DAMMIT! STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!!

Scratching his head in thought, and knowing that he would likely fail miserably if he tried to pilot the craft, Ammpe gazed at the thing for a moment, then looked in turn at each of his teammates. Steam was an army clone, he determined, and army clones had experience in piloting dangerous vehicles, didn’t they? Sure they did! That makes sense! “As team leader,” he spat out as quickly as he could in hopes his thoughts wouldn’t be interrupted again, “I appoint Steam-R-LLR as our pilot!”

Posted on 2018-10-15 at 13:58:28.

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