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Sibelius Eos Owm
A Midsummer Knight
Karma: 59/5
1376 Posts

I recognise #1

At a friend's Graduation Ceremony, there were fortune cookies handed out that had sayings on them. One such was pretty much identical to number one here.

Also, I love you Dark Autumn! (Well not really, but you pretty well described my personality)

Also, on point three I have story: Once I was asked by a peer and fellow student (last school semester) what religion I was. "I'm not really sure what to call it." I explained for a moment that I believed in god and celebrated Christmas and such, then he asked me if I went to church, to help me identify which religion I was. Upon telling him that no I did not go to church, he identified that I was not a Christian (he who does go to church, I think). Needless to say I was a tad offended, but it is not in my nature to take offense, so I said nothing. It ended up that another classmate nearby heard him and offered her opinion (essentially the opposite, that church-going mattered not) so they argued a bit while I sat and did my Chem homework.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 02:20:03.

RDI Staff
Karma: 357/190
6191 Posts


45. Grugg gets the joke, but just changed it as he was really tired. He does that.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 12:37:54.

Den Mother
RDI Staff
Karma: 111/12
1188 Posts

Hang on folks, play nice

This is a website devoted to fantasy gaming and related topics. When other topics (religion, politics, universal healthcare, death and taxes) get broached, the staff have agreed to allow the conversation as long as it does not get mean spirited or adversarial. This thread is starting to cross that line.

Unfortuantely, religion seems to bring out the stubbornness in everyone, so please let's let the matter drop.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 14:41:43.

TRSG 2.0
Karma: 113/94
1606 Posts


This was just ment to be 'a list of 40 useless sayings.'

And people shouldn't get hung up an them, I didn't write them origonaly and posted them as a bit of fun, can we please countine the list.

45 (I think): Never, ever, ever allow your youngest brother to 'Have a look' at a D&D book.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 14:48:54.
Edited on 2008-04-05 at 14:49:28 by Loki

Den Mother
RDI Staff
Karma: 111/12
1188 Posts


No need to apologize: The list was fine, and the list can continue...I just want to declare a "no contest" on the religious debate.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 15:27:12.

Sibelius Eos Owm
A Midsummer Knight
Karma: 59/5
1376 Posts

I meant...

(DA) When you spoke of being unable to stand when people thought poorly of you, I find myself kindred to that thought. I always try not to give anyone reason to dislike me, and it bugs me if some one (even a stranger) seems to exhibit signs of looking down on me.

Also, I [would] love to dance, I just have a certain level of stage fright (which makes doing a solo in Band a bit of an adrenaline rush) and I seem to feel like people are watching me. Though of course I have built up the confidence to try to dance anyway, on occasion.

Now to end on two notes that need not be directed at a particularly shady progression to winter;

TRSG, I must agree, and make the amendment of: 'Your little brother and his friends' and add: 'when you are not around.

P 40 of my Players Handbook (3.5) is a little crinkly and 'The Monk' table is a little discolored thanks to one evening when I went to bed early (school next day) and my bro and his friends were still playing D&D (having a day off the next day).

My last note is this: I have seen a small handful of threads that have been ruined by a long standing religious debate (not here at the Inn, or at least, none that I've seen). It is good to rout the potential before it gets going. I'm sure everyone can respect each others' views enough to not argue about it (remember saying #28 ).
[This applies to those who are more spiritual than relgious ^-^]

Why do I get the feeling I made a couple spelling errors?

Whoops, the 8 and the ) turned into a smiley, hehe. Also despite DA's post being gone, my answers still stand)

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 15:51:23.
Edited on 2008-04-05 at 15:53:13 by Sibelius Eos Owm

Sibelius Eos Owm
A Midsummer Knight
Karma: 59/5
1376 Posts

Coming back an hour later with a thought

46: The glowy yellow light placed conveniently over the road where you can hardly miss it does NOT mean you are going too slow, nor does it warn you to get away before the evil of the red light shows up.

Posted on 2008-04-05 at 16:41:37.

Angel Reincarnated
Karma: 86/22
1142 Posts

I love them all

Though i think the one about the waiter, and the one about titanic are my faves.

Posted on 2008-04-08 at 16:24:05.

I'm doing SCIENCE!
RDI Staff
Karma: 163/50
1835 Posts


About #46 - my county (soon to be former county!) just passed a law that installed video cameras at about 20 or so major intersections to catch people running red lights.

A study found that initially it will cause more accidents until "people learn how they are supposed to use yellow lights."

Thought that was amusing.

Posted on 2008-04-08 at 17:10:31.

The Tired
RDI Staff
Karma: 291/33
6333 Posts

From a Ad i saw

#47 - A Straight may beat two pair, but the father of the girl you are playing strip poker with, will beat you straight up.

Posted on 2008-04-11 at 20:18:30.
Edited on 2008-04-12 at 18:15:42 by Vanadia

Bromern Sal
A Shadow
RDI Staff
Karma: 151/11
4121 Posts


That was funny. If only because I now have a daughter and I've been saying for the past four years that I'm going to create a nice wall hanging that will be placed right next to the door once she's of age to start dating. This wall hanging will consist of various caliber rounds from a .22 to a 50 cal. On each one, smallest to largest, there will be etched the time of the evening starting with 10:00pm. The later they have her out, the larger the caliber round I'll be using to end their miserable little life!

48. Don't pet a burning dog.

49. The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

50. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

51. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

52. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

53. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

54. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

55. A day without sunshine is like, night.

56. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

57. All generalizations are false, including this one.

58. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

59. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

60. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

61. Assassins do it from behind.

62. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

63. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

64. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

65. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

66. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

67. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

68. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

69. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

70. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

71. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

72. Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.

73. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

74. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

75. Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.

76. Death is hereditary.

77. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

78. Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.

79. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

80. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

81. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

82. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

83. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

84. Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

85. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

86. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

87. Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.

88. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

89. Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

90. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

91. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

92. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

93. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

94. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

95. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

96. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

97. Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

98. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

99. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.

100. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

101. Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

102. Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!

103. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

104. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

105. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

106. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

107. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

108. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

109. Honk if you want to see my finger.

110. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

111. How does Teflon stick to the pan?

112. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

113. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

114. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

115. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

116. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

117. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

118. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

119. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

120. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

121. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

122. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

123. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

124. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

125. I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.

126. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

127. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

128. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

129. I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

130. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

131. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

132. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

133. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

134. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

135. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

136. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

137. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

138. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

139. If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.

140. If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

150. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

151. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

152. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

153. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

154. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

155. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

156. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

157. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

158. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

159. Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

160. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk.

161. Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

162. Keep honking. I'm reloading.

163. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

164. Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.

165. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

166. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

167. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

168. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

169. Montana: At least our cows are sane!

170. More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!

171. Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

172. My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.

173. My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

174. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

175. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

176. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

177. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

178. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

179. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

180. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

181. Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

182. Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

183. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

184. Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

185. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

186. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

187. Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.

188. Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

189. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

190. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

191. Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.

192. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

193. Remember half the people you know are below average.

194. Save the whales. Collect the whole set

195. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

196. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

197. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

198. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle, and still others backwash.

199. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

200. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

201. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

202. Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

203. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

204. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

205. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

206. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

207. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

208. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

209. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

210. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

211. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

212. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

213. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

214. The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

215. There's no future in time travel.

216. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

217. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

218. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

219. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

220. Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

221. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

222. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

223. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

224. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

225. Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

226. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

227. Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

228. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

229. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

230. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

231. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

232. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

233. What's the speed of dark?

234. When everythings coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

235. When there's a will, I want to be in it.

236. When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

237. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

238. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

239. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

240. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

241. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

242. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

243. You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

244. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

245. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

246. Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

247. Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Posted on 2008-05-22 at 05:36:12.

RDI Staff
Karma: 357/190
6191 Posts


You win Brom.

Posted on 2008-05-23 at 19:07:54.

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